Judging Privilege, Dickies and Neck Ties

I started a blog in response to the posts a couple of weeks ago about White Privilege. So this is a tad long, but basically two blogs in one.

Couple weeks ago a guy was named the poster child for white privilege (White, Male, Goes to Princeton) and he wrote about how he gets judged for having privilege. He wrote a fairly well written piece about his Jewish family fleeing the Nazis and all the hardships his life had in it.

So then the internet blew up... did he have privilege? Didn't he? How come? Why not? How dare a Princeton student claim they don't have privilege!

The comments, as most internet conversations tend to go... where a hot mess of one-sided I know better than you yelling matches and sometimes they even put the caps lock key down. Okay okay, you must obviously be right.

Originally I wanted to write about how colleges really suck at talking about this, and actually make things worse... so here is that part, and then an additional part from my experience recently about being judged...

Here is how most schools do Diversity/Inclusion/Privilege Training:

Some Hall Director (RHD) goes to a conference and sat through a 45 minute workshop (that started 10 minutes late, and ended 10 minutes early) on Privilege that was presented by a first year master's student at your local regional state college... based on that intense training, they went back, and did an hour long workshop (googled to find additional content) for their Resident Assistants (half of which attended) and then it was mandated that all RAs do a program on White Privilege (mind you the original program was about Privilege, not "White" Privilege).

Then everyone gets surprised that the program doesn't go well, which means they assume the students are racists, not that the program was poorly presented. Then guess what, many people that went to the program actually probably became a little racist because they were insulted over race. Ah...

So my first point is...

College's need to actually start educating people about these types of things in the proper way... and by proper I mean create curriculum, bringing in real speakers (no offense to my RHD friends), focus on changing campus culture and do this very important topic correctly. I mean, if you actually care about it. We spend time and money making our campuses more green, increasing campus wellness... but how much did your school spend on diversity education?

Now my second point is...

If you aren't an expert, and studied privilege or truly understand it, stop trying to teach other people about privilege. I get asked a lot to do workshops or discussions on privilege. I turn that down each time, I am not qualified to do that, and its a shame that anyone with some type of disadvantaged past believes they can do workshops/speeches on the topic. Stop it, you can't. You are making it worse.

You know what I can talk about? My background, who I am, where I came from... I like to debunk myths and yeah some of those things are part of discussions on privilege. I however am not well versed in the ins and out and able to do a workshop on it.

My next point is...

We all have a struggle. Everyone struggles in this world to find their place, everyone has people who struggle more, and everyone has people who struggle less. Everyone should be able to find people where their struggles are supported and we help each other advance. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world, and we create lines and boxes and levels and categories to do nothing but help us continue to struggle over our struggles. Yeah I said that, I'm not going to edit it later.

Transition to secondish blog:

Last week I had an interesting experience that made me wrap this up... I worked on refinishing the floors at La Casa de Amistad. So for several days, I wore jeans, my Dickies, a ball cap, and for the fun of it I didn't shave. Well I realized something... I wasn't treated the same out running errands. I wasn't greeted as promptly or politely at places, and striking up conversations with people took more work (I talk to everyone everywhere I go). Maybe I was less out going in that outfit? Or maybe I didn't make people as comfortable as I do when dressed up...

So I asked Heather to snap a pic of me the one day when I came home, in my shirt with paint on it, my Dickies jacket and hoodie, my Datsun hat... Then I shaved, and threw on a nice work outfit and took another photo. Why is the guy in a tie so much more likable? I mean the head tilt is even the same...

My final point is...

How about we all stop judging? You judged that white Princeton kid for saying his family struggled and he wasn't privileged because of his Jewish family history. Then everyone started judging each other and everyone threw their privilege on the table and starting a measuring contest. Guess what, not having privilege, or perceiving yourself as less, doesn't give you a right to judge those who you perceive as having it. It works both ways people.

In response to the Princeton guy... or others with privilege who don't want to be judged for having it... my thought is this, how are you helping, others like your unprivileged grandfather realize their American dream? I better see you at the table for Immigration Reform, I hope to see you volunteering at a place that assists immigrants in realizing their American Dream...

I think conversations about privilege and race should be targeted at how we can judge less, and help more; regardless of color, country or choice of god.