College Drop Out

Tuesday morning, at 7:55AM I walked into Ivy Tech Community College. I was nervous, I had not walked into the tech hall in over 6 years. I was anxious, I had not taken a college class in 8 years. I was excited to hang out in the big auto shop again. I was worried how much I forgot and wondering if I was ready... I know the night before I tried to log into their online learning platform and had trouble. I was a drop out, now I am back, let's see how it goes.

I love cars, always have, since as early as I can remember I loved cars, I sketched them, dreamed of them, and wanted to drive them, work on them, design them. I loved cars so much I became an engineer, and I was blessed to be good enough at math to make it through all the worst classes in college... I landed cool internships, and lived my dream of designing cars. 

I love cars, but being an engineer nearly ruined that, working 60-80 hour weeks on deadlines, was hard... the paychecks were nice, but man it was crazy at times. I got to be behind the scenes at auto shows, see things I worked on turning on a display case for the world to see, got a patent in my name, and then decided to walk away. 

I love cars and ten years ago when I got a job at Ivy Tech the first place I went... the auto shop. My first full semester there, I used that tuition benefit and took a class (Blog: Shop Class for the Soul). I was at the time struggling with my fit at Ivy Tech, and less than a year later... I was working at La Casa. 

I love cars, but my transition to La Casa, and then having Mari, all took a toll on my ability to enjoy hobbies, to work on cars, to blog, to be more me. Maybe it was quarantine, maybe it is that the kids are older and able to make their own breakfast, but I got back into hobbies (Blog: Hobby Time). 

I love cars but I have always put everything else first. My work, house projects, consulting projects, my volunteer commitments and yes of course my family. So that meant hobbies fell 6th, 8th... or completely off the radar. This was my year to reclaim it all, and yes kids come first, but we got the Z on the track this year, I am completing my Hot Wheels collection, and yes, I am back in the auto shop. 

I love cars... So why was it scary to enter the shop again? I felt like I failed each semester that went by and I didn't finish my degree. I felt what it was like for a working parent, trying to take classes, juggle kids, work.... and I failed. I needed to get back in there and do it. 

I love cars... and finally that love was more than my fear. I honestly don't know much about working on cars, I know a rotor and caliper, and I can change brake pads... but I have no idea how the brake booster works, or how the vacuum works in the engine or why I can't stop my dang Z from burning so much oil (ha). I don't like being in places where I don't know, it is humbling asking for help, with either the cylinder compression test tool, or the online learning modules (I swear I think its different on my Mac, I still can't get right). 

I love cars, I am excited, and nervous and anxious, but here we go. Wish me luck, I remember how proud my Grandpa Harold was when I told him I was taking a shop class (he was a mechanic and owned a garage), I am sad he won't see me graduate. Yeah I got to get this done, maybe just for me, maybe for Grandpa, but for sure for my kids, so they know their dad isn't a quitter.