Why, Why Not? Because.

Explaining things to a three year old can be hard... why we have to brush our teeth at night, why you can't have ice cream instead of dinner, why you can't stand on the seat of your bike while riding it, why you can't write on the wall with marker, why, why not, why?

Some of the things we teach our children are planned lessons. We practice colors and shapes, and point out letters like "C" for Cruz when we see them. We remind him to say please and thank you, and that you aren't supposed to push people. We laugh when he says something is "Mines" or the if he just did something he says, "Yeah I'm Is".

Well there are lessons in life we don't plan, and some we hope we never have to teach. However there are things in life that we can't predict, and more importantly ones we can't prevent.

Candle for Dave at ND

On Thursday we arrived in Bad Axe, MI and Heather went inside ahead of us. We discussed what to tell Cruz, and agreed we didn't know what to say. Cruz got excited when we arrived, he loves visiting. So I sat with him in the back seat for a minute and got him to focus. He always impresses me that when I need his attention he calms and responds. I told him, Your Mama is sad, and we need to be very quiet when we enter the house. He replied, "Yeah Mama is sad"... he knew, he felt it already even though she was hiding it. I said yes, and that is why we have to be very quiet when we go into the house. He said okay, and I told him that Papa won't be here, and for him not to ask. He said okay, and said "I be quiet for Mama". I told him not to ask Mama where Papa is, and he said "Okay".

We went in, and Cruz didn't make a peep. He smiled, waved at his Grammie and Greggy, didn't say a thing about all the cops and sat quietly. Before we left he asked about Hip Hop Santa, a toy him and Dave loved. We sat on the couch for a minute, and then we left to meet some family members. He didn't fuss or ask for his mama. I was impressed, especially cause he normally can't go 2 seconds without asking for her. He was paying his respect, in his way.

Throughout the events and hosting visitors at the house Cruz was well behaved, played when he could, stayed calm when needed and asked me a lot why his mama was sad. I would tell him because Papa Dave isn't here, and he would respond with "Oh"... luckily not asking me where he was, because I didn't have a good answer for a three year old.

Tubing

When Novali's great grandmother passed I told her to right away to remember her last memory with her Abuelita. For Cruz I thought of the same thing, and last thing I remember him doing with Dave was when he refused to go down the tubing hill. Dave just grabbed him, and put him on Novali's lap and despite his protests pushed him down the hill. Cruz promptly on his return said, "That was fun! Lets go again." He isn't scared, and instead loves tubing cause of Papa Dave.

Interestingly, if there was anyone in this family in the future to remind us of Dave it is Cruz. He can't sit still, a tad bossy, likes to be active all the time, pops his opinion quickly, likes power tools and has that perfect ginger hairdo; high and tight, high and tight.

So why do things like this happen? Why can't we prevent these types of things? Why are some questions impossible to answer? I don't know, I just know that being here, celebrating the life of Dave is truly moving. The community support, everyone stopping by, I mean they closed the public schools on Monday... and even Cruz, the untamable toddler, can be calmed in respect to a great father, coach, civil servant, father-in-law and great Papa.

So on Monday during the service, I am sure Cruz will ask a Why question that we wish we didn't have to answer... I think Cruz will ask why so many people are there... and I will be able to tell him is, because Papa isn't.

Other Duties as Assigned

For those playing along at home, I am in a new role as the Executive Director of a non-profit social service agency. I love my job at La Casa de Amistad and would not trade it for anything, but man it makes for an interesting day... lets recap Tuesday, January 21st, 2014.

8:30AM - my pre-K teacher was a little late, so helped get our facility opened up and families checked in for our Yo Puedo Leer (I Can Read) class.

9:30AM - our food pantry van (cargo van) had a flat tire. I brought in a air compressor to pump it up and see if it holds (van sat for about five weeks during break). Van wouldn't start (for me to plug in compressor), so I got keys for our passenger van. Well batteries are on opposite sides so can't jump it, and compressor cable isn't long enough. So looks like I will be using the passenger van (huge conversation van with pimp plush seats) for our food bank run.

11AM - Meeting with South Bend School Corp Staff in the adult education department. Building partnerships and sharing resources.

12:30PM - Worlds fastest lunch (AKA McDs), and they had free small coffee. SCORE!

1PM - Conference call with my Immigration/Citizenship Class coordinator and potential future volunteer/staff person. Did intros and left call early to run to food bank in conversion van.

1:15PM - Warm up conversion van, open gate, get van stuck in unplowed alley.

Stuck Van

1:20PM - Get one of my staff to help me un-stuck van. Van still stuck.

1:25PM - Get one of our interns to help steer van, while my staff and I push it. Van unstuck.

1:30PM - Back van up, plan to drive it out in straight shot to avoid getting stuck. Van slides into fence, decide not to stop (risk getting stuck again) and just keep on driving (luckily damage was minimal).

2PM - Pack and load nearly 500 pounds of food. Cans of tomato sauce are heavy!

2:30PM - En route back from food bank, van nearly runs out of gas... made it to station. Whew. Good news is gas prices are down.

2:45PM - Have to work the receptionist desk, my administrative coordinator was filling in my our Pre-K teacher that needed to leave early.

3:15PM - Youth Program First Day. Our assistant coordinator not there, because a temp job for Feb (filling in for expectant Spanish teacher) was moved to Jan when baby came early. Those babies, sometimes just can't wait.

3:30PM - While helping third grader with reading assignment learned that soccer originated in China. When asking him if he knew that, he said no, and I told him I didn't know that either so I learned something as well.  He replied, "Well everything is made in China". True, kids are so smart.

Old Building. Old Pipes.

4:00PM - Remembered we found a leak in the basement yesterday. Go down to check it out, it is worse. So can't be melting snow coming in... rip out more drywall. Tear out pipe insulation. Find pin hole leak in a pipe. Mental note, need to call plumber tomorrow. Mental note part two, Ask if anyone reading this post know a plumber in South Bend?

4:30PM - Run upstairs to take photos of kids (K to 6th grade) in the program to post on our Facebook. Then run down to the basement to take photos of the students down there (7th grade +). Second workout for the day.

4:45PM - Update Facebook Page (Like us please)

5PM - Work with accountant on plan for staff W-2s and unemployment insurance issues.

6PM - Class from IUSB comes. Do presentation, tour of building, discussion about volunteer opportunities. Students had lots of questions, I LOVE questions, cause it means they actually listened and care. Thank you Titans!

7:15PM - Class leaves. Enjoyed tour.

7:45PM - Locking up office. Cops all over outside. Shooting a block from center, reminds me why it is so important for us to be there, helping those who want a better life to be able to raise up. Also means we need to write an emergency policy in case that happened while our kids are in the building.

8PM - Put the building alarm on, head home. All in a days work.

You might think that this all means I am too busy during the day and need a break. No, I wanted to let the world know that I helped a third grader with his reading skills yesterday. That, and putting my 3 year old to bed when I got home made the entire day perfect.