1.08.2021

Sueños. Why I Can't Sleep.

First week of January 2014 I couldn’t sleep. I was four months into a new job and my bank account was drained because I didn’t get a paycheck. There wasn’t enough money to cover payroll so I took the hit. In the mail that week came two big grant checks, ah, breathing space. I still couldn’t sleep with so much uncertainty, but dreams of the future kept me going. 

First week of January 2018 I couldn’t sleep. I’d driven by a huge empty school as I left the gym. I noticed the listing. Was it too big? Was it too far? Was it just right? Was it meant to be? I couldn’t sleep, worried if we were going to make the right decision, but dreams of the future kept me going. 

First week of January 2020 and I couldn’t sleep. Thoughts on hoping people like the orange accent color, or if the flooring was right that we picked. I couldn’t sleep because someone knocked over the fire hydrant on our block and I wasn’t sure if that costs us money to repair (luckily it appears no). 

I can’t sleep.
I am a worrier.
It’s kinda what I do.

I think I inherited that from my mom. However, I also inherited her faith. Faith that if I focus on the right things, the pieces will fall into place. I also inherited a work ethic from my dad that told me if I worked hard and had help anything was possible. So far, that’s worked out pretty well.

I want to thank everyone for always helping us overcome obstacles. I want to thank you for giving me new things to worry about. 

I can’t sleep but now it’s not because I didn’t get paid, it’s because I was worried if the new health insurance plan for staff rolled in correctly (it did!). We keep looking forward, we keep growing, and can’t wait to see what the future brings. 

I can't sleep now because of what is happening in DC, but not because of what bad might come of it all, but because of what positive things will come out of it. Focus on the right thing, have faith it will come together, and work hard for it. Like my parents taught me. 


I can’t sleep because this project can’t get done fast enough... and once it is done, I’m sure I will have new things to lose sleep over… and that’s okay. So, thanks friends - for giving me awesome things to celebrate and making some of my worries go away. 

I can’t sleep, but because of all the great things happening, and I can’t be more excited about it all. 

Learn more about that dream, "El Sueño" here: https://lacasadeamistad.org/sueno-project/