Lots of soccer over the past couple weeks with Copa and Euro Cup happening and like many years lots of tie games. I love good analogies and to analyze things we see in our everyday and relate them to life, my life, and things happening around me.
During penalty kicks to break a tie game each team gets 5 shots. One player at a time, walks from midfield, all the way to the PK spot to take their shot. While there are thousands in the stands, their team on the side lines, the other kickers at midfield, I know they feel alone. I know they feel the weight the world on their shoulders, I know they are looking at that goalie and thinking:
They have played a long game, often over 120 minutes of soccer, a physically demanding sport. I know they don't feel tired when they walk toward the ball. The emotions of the moment, the memory of the thousands of times they practiced this exact same kick flash in their brains. Do I go left, do I go right, do I stutter step, do I slam it right down the middle and hope the keeper goes left?
They know they aren't the only kicker, they can make theirs, and the team still loses. They know they can miss theirs and the team can still win. At the end of the day, they have one job now, one focus, to make that one goal.
There are effectively in my mind three ways it goes:
1 - They score. Crowd goes wild, they often celebrate like they won, the veterans usually don't as they know, they know it's not over, for the player the feelings of relief, success, satisfaction...
2 - The keeper blocks it. Their shot was on target, but the keeper was faster, was better. These are more rare, and for the keeper what is absolutely joy and celebration, is mirrored in defeat on the face of the kickers.
3 - They miss... shot was off target, no goal. Less celebration from the keeper, but still the outcome for their team.
If the player who misses, for whatever reason, a block or bad shot, they have a long walk back. I know that walk, the feeling that you just put it all out there, that you did your best, you played your time all night, you had some brilliant moves, earlier in the game the crowd went nuts for you over a kick or a slide, and you imagined the celebration of success at the end... which now, might not come, and you at the moment, feel like if it doesn't come, it is all your fault.
That Long Walk Back has been on my mind, in work, in life, in so much. Maybe I am watching too much soccer, or maybe this is a good analogy about how I am feeling and I wanted to write out my thoughts.
As a parent, as a partner, as a CEO, as a son, as a board chair... you often have that feeling of being alone. That feeling of walking out to the PK spot, you can't hear the cheers for you, you forget about your successes (and failures) on the pitch earlier, you just look at that ball, and look up at the huge net, and you have to tell yourself, I can.
You make your plan, you pick your strategy, you start your step, and you shoot.
The Long Walk Back is on your mind, you fear failure, we all do, no one wants that long walk back. What you don't think at the time is, that regardless of your kick, the team could still win or lose. It is a team sport, we win together, we lose together. It doesn't feel like it, especially if you miss and have to take the long walk back.
Two weeks ago Messi, arguably one of the greatest of all time, missed his PK. He took the Long Walk Back, but his team still pulled through and won that game, and ultimately the championship. I remember Baggio missing his PK in '94, Ronaldo missed a PK just this month. Weirdly we remember the misses, and they hurt the most at the time, but there are so many other moments.
Don't worry, I am not comparing myself to Messi, but making an example that anyone can miss. I know the misses hurt the most and one miss can diminish ten goals.
I miss a lot of shots. As a dad, as a partner, and recently I feel like that as a community leader. Sometimes feeling like you played a great game, you played your best, but you missed your PK. I sometimes feel like I am on that long walk back, wondering through your head what you could have done differently.
We might still win, the outcome can be in our favor, our goal as a team, as a community, might be met. You don't know that now, but I know I feel like I let the team down. Yes on the long walk back your team tells you it is okay, but it doesn't feel okay. You think, while the outcome might still be in our favor, you can barely even watch the rest of the kicks as yours is still racing in your mind.
I still remember Baggio's miss in '94, we joked about it all the time on my high school team, any time someone missed their PK... you pulled a Baggio! He didn't quit, he made many shots after that one.
So yeah I wrote this for me, but maybe for you as well. Maybe you just made your shot, but your team lost. Maybe you just missed a shot, missed it badly, and maybe your team will win or lose, but to your feelings it all doesn't matter right away... but that can change.
Just know that you aren't alone on that Long Walk Back, and it's not over until you quit, so get ready another shot is coming right up.