Letting Go

I have been thinking a lot lately about the act of letting go. Letting go of preconceived notions, letting go of what others think, letting go of fears...

Tire Rack Street Survival Graduates

Couple weeks ago was my tenth time serving as chair of a Tire Rack Street Survival School (www.streetsurvival.org). It is a driving school for teens, where they get to do very advanced driving techniques in the safety of the Tire Rack Test Track. We teach them about under and over steer, braking and turning at speed, get them on a wet skid pad, and hopefully give them confidence behind the wheel. At the end of the day, confidence is probably the most important thing they learn. They get to do it in a safe environment, a Test Track.

Over the years I have learned that confidence is usually the X-Factor in success. The cheesy quote, "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." As a famous innovator, Henry Ford knew that trying something was the key to finding out if you could do it. Luckily he lived in an era that taking risks, trying things, failing... were considered expected.

Well today we don't live in that era. People who take risks are seen as careless. People who take risks  are called crazy, odd balls, etc. everything today is about calculating risks and taking the easiest path. Working in higher education I see that... parents who don't let their kids take risks, don't let them explore, don't let them take time to see what they are capable of and more importantly who they truly are as they mature. Mostly because the parents, can't let go, can't take the risk of... What might happen if I they go....

Changing gears; my life application of letting go...

Novali couldn't ride a bike. She is 12, and never learned. She lives in a big city, isn't super active and also isn't a big risk taker. I knew that this summer had to be the time she learned. I did some research and found it odd, that despite the surge of bike use, many young adults actually can't ride a bike. I wonder if it has anything to do with all the millennial's parents who couldn't let their kid fall and get hurt... so they didn't push them to learn. In cities like New York they offer classes to teach adults how to ride bikes... and as you would except it is very expensive and probably not as entertaining as watching Sofia Vergara learn on Modern Family.

I told Novali this summer we would learn how to ride a bike. After she said she was worried about ruining our nice bikes (AKA didn't want to hurt herself), I told her we would find her a junk bike. After a few pawn shop runs, watching garage sales, I found one at a thrift store. Not sure the model, but it  is a Schwinn (has a 1972 MSU Bike License Sticker) and says "Co-Ed" on the chain guard. It looks like a Collegiate model but it is just a one speed. I got it cheap, and told Novali, if she learns, then this winter it will be our project to restore the bike.

I was fearing I would have to con her into trying to ride. To my surprise, the day after I brought the bike home Novali asked if she could try to ride the bike. So I dropped everything and took her out... it was rough, she didn't fall but I couldn't get my hand off the back of the seat. She peddled, she huffed and we talked about balance and momentum. At one point I let go... and she nearly fell and told me not to let go again unless she tells me she is ready.

The next day, we went again for a second ride. Her confidence was up, she asked me to tighten her helmet a little more in case she falls today, and we went to ride. I ran next to her, holding the seat, telling her to stop looking down and look at where she wants the bike to go. The bike is a tad big for her, so that doesn't help, but after a few laps I was letting go more and more. After a block I told her she nearly did the entire block without me holding on. She punched my arm, "Stop Letting Go". I told her that riding a bike doesn't include your Papi holding the seat forever. I had to let go...

We went for a few more rounds, and I let go, and just started running next to her. She rode, and she knew she was riding and didn't waiver. Bingo. She has a lot to learn... starting on her own, turning, stopping better, and most importantly a little confidence.

This past weekend in Saginaw we were at my sister Raquel's house. Her girls had their bikes out, and I hinted to Novali to try and ride one. Valerie's is smaller, has hand brakes and I thought Novali could master it easily. I didn't mention it again, and we had dinner, we lite a few fireworks... and Novali without saying anything snuck away and pushed the bike into the street... She called me over... I told her to use the rear hand brake, explained why, and without me touching the bike she started it and rode off. A few minutes later went on a ride around the block with her cousin, and told me how much fun that was.

She will need more practice. I taught her that anything she wants to be good at takes practice. I won't push it, but I hope she continues to ask me, to go for a bike ride. Now she wants a smaller bike to practice on... so I said we can buy her a boy bike that could be Cruz's someday, cause he will want to ride a bike just like his big sister.

Sometimes letting go causes scraps and bruises...
Sometimes letting go causes celebration and cheers...
Sometimes letting go causes risk...

But letting go can be the right thing to do, regardless of the outcome. Letting go lets you try something, lets you see what is possible, lets you see what you are capable of... just need to get over the risk.

Letting go of her bike seat will hopefully lead to Novali and I going for a ride around the neighborhood together, on our bikes. It also means we need to pick a color for transforming that Schwinn into a stunner this winter... I am betting she will want it to be teal...

Tweet #1986

Well Purple Nation, it happened... I am sending my 1986th Tweet... Many tweets have been sent from my Cruceno21 handle about my life, my job, my family, my little miniature maino, my Renaissance girl Novali, of course about my Brotherhood.

I am not going to get all April 4th nostalgic, not even all 4/17/99 teary eyed...

I have been thinking about this post for a while... knowing that it was coming, knowing that I wanted to say something clever. Often times when you want to say the most important things, you can't think of what to say. So is life huh?

A friend reminded me the other day of this post I wrote on our 25th: Presidential Letter

In keeping with that post, this isn't going to be about great SLB things I have Tweeted about over the past couple years, but a post looking forward to all the great things I will have to Tweet about in the future.

This weekend I head to Iowa City, the Beta Mecca, for a Foundation Board Meeting... expect good Tweets from them about the future of our Foundation. This fall I have some consulting trips to campuses with chapters (some without... yet), time spent mentoring younger Brothers, and Tweets of future milestones.

Brothers, celebrate our accomplishments, look to the future, plan for success and it will be yours... and subsequently your successes, will be ours, and the we will make our country and our world a better place... not for us, but for those who come behind us.

Peace.... /\B!

Pure Michigan Family

The American Centellas clan is spread around the country. We all converged this weekend in our old stomping grounds, Saginaw, MI. Raquel is the only one left in Saginaw, Andres is off in Philly, I am in South Bend, Miguel is down in Oxford, MS and my parents just returned from Bolivia and drove up to visit from their new place in Florida.

Welcome to Saginaw.

It was a good time to also try to see our Coates side of the family, as my mom grew up in Saginaw much of our family is in the area still or also happened to be visiting for the holiday weekend. Like any good Centellas vacation we had a lot planned in a short trip...

The Fourth was our busy day... my mother wanted family photos done, and we all scheduled to take pictures at a little park in Freeland. Kate served as photog, we all served as kid wranglers, and everyone served as master photo arrangement experts... ha. We got them done, and can't wait to see what they all turned out like! The kids (for the most part) behaved and posed well in groups!

Then we had breakfast at the Riverside restaurant and I think we had 30 people! I will be honest I lost count... My Coates Grandparents came, both my uncles, cousins, and tons, like TONS of kids running all over. My grandparents are from the generation of hard work, ingenuity and family. My grandpa owned his own garages (Coates Tire) and grandma worked at a bank. I got to ask my grandpa what his favorite car he ever owned was... his reply, a 1960s white Oldsmobile convertible that he he bought new and paid cash money for it. Then my uncle John took it to Homecoming, sprayed temp paint on it to decorate it... except the paint wasn't so temporary... he laughed. (I need to find a photo of that car).

Freeland for breakfast

Grandma and Grandpa Coates and family (John, Bev, Ed)

Then it was a trip to Pratt Lake in Gladwin, MI. I spent hours and hours up there as a kid, learned to swim, learned to fish, learned to water ski, learned about the importance of sun screen and much much more. My cousin Cathy and her husband bought the place a few years back and I am glad we still have it in the family. On my streak of grandpa questions I asked him how he got the place...

They used to go camping up on the lake... and one day my grandpa thought he saw a for sale sign. So they turned in, and saw the place. Weirdly he said when they returned they never saw the for sale sign on the main street... so something drew them to the place. They checked it out, and my grandpa gave the guy a low ball offer, and of course, in cash money. He told me as they negotiated, he told grandma to write a check (my grandpa didn't write well) and he handed it to the guy. Said take it or leave it, check will be good on Monday. The guy took it... and then asked about when to get his furniture out of the house, grandpa said, I bought the place and all its contents... have a good day. Cash is King. My grandpa worked hard to always be sure he was on the King side of a negotiation.

Grandma and Grandpa Coates with Gael.

That evening Miguel and Kate took their kids (Javi and Zoe) to the Bay City fireworks.... I haven't been in years but I was spent and Cruz knocked out. Novali went with them and enjoyed the show.

Friday was another busy day. We started it with our first event Centellas baby naming ceremony. When we welcome Kelly Quaye into the family we knew we would be getting some Manx Gaelic traditions. Andres and Kelly gave their intentions for the baby, explained the name, and named the guardians. My mother, and father read something as well. Then grandpa Coates closed with a prayer. I think everyone got emotional, everyone knows I always do... my grandpa reminded us about when we first moved to the states that him and grandma took Miguel and I in and helped start us on the right foot in the states... now look at our little family and where we are today.

All the grandkids (7) at the naming ceremony.

Friday included a trip to the Saginaw Zoo and even more pool swimming, Cruz is really brave in the water, Ayanna is nearly ready to swim on her own, and everyone else caused a ruckus in the pool... mostly lead by grandpa Centellas.

Novali at the Zoo.

Cruz and Grandpa

Friday night it was Fireworks and KFC at Raquel's house. Her and Craig hosted us, we burnt some of their grass with fireworks, made a mess in their kitchen, and all the cousins rode their bikes and scooters. Novali the eldest, got to light from of the fireworks on her own... the perks of being the oldest have finally come in her favor.

Novali and her fireworks!

It was a great couple of days... long and tiring... but packed with fun and adventure, memories and sun tans (I have nearly perfected my farmer tan now). I loved some much needed one on one time with my grandparents. I am looking forward to visiting Florida this fall to chat more.

My grandparents and I at Gael's naming ceremony.

I wish we could all get together more than once a year or so... but I am not sure how many times I could handle that many kids all over... but I am sure Grandpa and Grandpa wouldn't complain, just a sleep a lot afterwards....

~ Para Los Primos en Bolivia, permiso por no escribir en Español, la proxima!