Letting Go

I have been thinking a lot lately about the act of letting go. Letting go of preconceived notions, letting go of what others think, letting go of fears...

Tire Rack Street Survival Graduates

Couple weeks ago was my tenth time serving as chair of a Tire Rack Street Survival School (www.streetsurvival.org). It is a driving school for teens, where they get to do very advanced driving techniques in the safety of the Tire Rack Test Track. We teach them about under and over steer, braking and turning at speed, get them on a wet skid pad, and hopefully give them confidence behind the wheel. At the end of the day, confidence is probably the most important thing they learn. They get to do it in a safe environment, a Test Track.

Over the years I have learned that confidence is usually the X-Factor in success. The cheesy quote, "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." As a famous innovator, Henry Ford knew that trying something was the key to finding out if you could do it. Luckily he lived in an era that taking risks, trying things, failing... were considered expected.

Well today we don't live in that era. People who take risks are seen as careless. People who take risks  are called crazy, odd balls, etc. everything today is about calculating risks and taking the easiest path. Working in higher education I see that... parents who don't let their kids take risks, don't let them explore, don't let them take time to see what they are capable of and more importantly who they truly are as they mature. Mostly because the parents, can't let go, can't take the risk of... What might happen if I they go....

Changing gears; my life application of letting go...

Novali couldn't ride a bike. She is 12, and never learned. She lives in a big city, isn't super active and also isn't a big risk taker. I knew that this summer had to be the time she learned. I did some research and found it odd, that despite the surge of bike use, many young adults actually can't ride a bike. I wonder if it has anything to do with all the millennial's parents who couldn't let their kid fall and get hurt... so they didn't push them to learn. In cities like New York they offer classes to teach adults how to ride bikes... and as you would except it is very expensive and probably not as entertaining as watching Sofia Vergara learn on Modern Family.

I told Novali this summer we would learn how to ride a bike. After she said she was worried about ruining our nice bikes (AKA didn't want to hurt herself), I told her we would find her a junk bike. After a few pawn shop runs, watching garage sales, I found one at a thrift store. Not sure the model, but it  is a Schwinn (has a 1972 MSU Bike License Sticker) and says "Co-Ed" on the chain guard. It looks like a Collegiate model but it is just a one speed. I got it cheap, and told Novali, if she learns, then this winter it will be our project to restore the bike.

I was fearing I would have to con her into trying to ride. To my surprise, the day after I brought the bike home Novali asked if she could try to ride the bike. So I dropped everything and took her out... it was rough, she didn't fall but I couldn't get my hand off the back of the seat. She peddled, she huffed and we talked about balance and momentum. At one point I let go... and she nearly fell and told me not to let go again unless she tells me she is ready.

The next day, we went again for a second ride. Her confidence was up, she asked me to tighten her helmet a little more in case she falls today, and we went to ride. I ran next to her, holding the seat, telling her to stop looking down and look at where she wants the bike to go. The bike is a tad big for her, so that doesn't help, but after a few laps I was letting go more and more. After a block I told her she nearly did the entire block without me holding on. She punched my arm, "Stop Letting Go". I told her that riding a bike doesn't include your Papi holding the seat forever. I had to let go...

We went for a few more rounds, and I let go, and just started running next to her. She rode, and she knew she was riding and didn't waiver. Bingo. She has a lot to learn... starting on her own, turning, stopping better, and most importantly a little confidence.

This past weekend in Saginaw we were at my sister Raquel's house. Her girls had their bikes out, and I hinted to Novali to try and ride one. Valerie's is smaller, has hand brakes and I thought Novali could master it easily. I didn't mention it again, and we had dinner, we lite a few fireworks... and Novali without saying anything snuck away and pushed the bike into the street... She called me over... I told her to use the rear hand brake, explained why, and without me touching the bike she started it and rode off. A few minutes later went on a ride around the block with her cousin, and told me how much fun that was.

She will need more practice. I taught her that anything she wants to be good at takes practice. I won't push it, but I hope she continues to ask me, to go for a bike ride. Now she wants a smaller bike to practice on... so I said we can buy her a boy bike that could be Cruz's someday, cause he will want to ride a bike just like his big sister.

Sometimes letting go causes scraps and bruises...
Sometimes letting go causes celebration and cheers...
Sometimes letting go causes risk...

But letting go can be the right thing to do, regardless of the outcome. Letting go lets you try something, lets you see what is possible, lets you see what you are capable of... just need to get over the risk.

Letting go of her bike seat will hopefully lead to Novali and I going for a ride around the neighborhood together, on our bikes. It also means we need to pick a color for transforming that Schwinn into a stunner this winter... I am betting she will want it to be teal...