I am not perfect, far from it.
It is a daily struggle to balance expectations and capacity and while I am proud of what I have accomplished so far in life, I know I fall short a lot. It was part of my reflection when I turned 40. I wanted to write more especially for those who maybe look up to me, or those I am mentoring, to not let your flaws hold you back.
I have found that as I got into more successful or public roles the stress and pressure rise and the stakes are higher. What I have found the most difficult to handle is that there is an expectation to be perfect. You are judged at a different level, and I get it, similar to elected officials, there is a higher bar of expectations both personally and professional. Not sure that is fair, but I understand it.
Maybe this is my way to help break that cycle of expectations. To tell others that they don’t have to strive for perfection, just focus, work hard, do what you think is right, and be honest with those around you.
I am not perfect, far from it.
Feels good to say it. From doubts on if I spend enough time with my kids, finished a home project, completed a grant, to feeling like I could of done more, haunt me. Each time I accomplish something that I am proud of, I get something pointed out to me, or that I notice, where I wish I had done something different.
I am not perfect, far from it.
As a human being I am still learning, still growing, still finding my way in the world. I want to make an impact, I want to help, I want to use my skills to make a difference. I often feel like the more I do, the more questions I get of “why did you do that?”. Especially when I make a mistake, it gets judged twice as hard versus if I was just sitting back and not pushing myself.
I am not perfect, far from it.
We all need to give leaders a break, including me. I actually caught myself the other day putting really high expectations on someone, and I realized I do it as well… that person is also trying, also balancing life, also just trying to learn and grow. We can’t expect 180% everyday and no mistakes, things happen.
I am not perfect, far from it.
To everyone that has helped me up when I made a mistake, thank you. To those who expect a lot from me and push me to accomplish more, thank you. To those who judge me over a perception, thank you for the critique, and I forgive you. We all do it, I am trying to do it less and I at least won’t judge you for judging me. It’s a start.
No one is perfect.
In a world that is slow to give second chances, be the one who gives a third chance to someone. Be the one who doesn’t expect perfect but expects effort, passion, dedication, drive, etc. The world needs more understanding, not higher expectations, the world needs compassion not judgement.
Share your imperfections.
I wrote a blog earlier this year to be what you need for others, so now let others know your flaws so it validates theirs and might help you build a connection. I have a confidence that comes off as condescending, so I sometimes come across as cold to people at first meeting. As the leader of a group I tend to get credit for our successes, I try to share credit, I try to be clear its a team effort. I try to tell those around me how much I appreciate their effort, support, partnership, but sometimes I forget. I wish I was better at being thankful.
My list of imperfections is long… so I’ll stop there. Save some others to share later. Thank you to all my friends and colleagues who love me the way I am. I am not perfect, far from it, neither are you, but hey, we all make the world a more perfect place, together.