Times They Are A Changing, But things Don't Change Unless You Make Them

My thoughts on Racism in the American College Fraternity.
(This was a HUGE rant I wrote a week ago, and waited, reflected, and edited this version)

Well Bob Dylan said that "Times they are a changing"... or others say that time stands still for no one.

It is true, time is changing, it moves and goes forward and we age... technology makes those times pass faster and faster... trends come and go... baggy jeans, low rise, skinny jeans and high wasted jeans... it all turns and turns.

You know what though? Things Don't Change, unless you make them change. I am guilty at times... I change the channel... I look the other way... I can't help Venezuela or bring peace to the middle east. I can't get the Tea Party from running a muck in American politics and I can't make everyone care about global warming and sustainability.

You can't wait for things to change, for things to get better.

It is a sad world that we are still fighting such primitive things in the world... hate, injustice, oppression... and fighting them in organizations that are supposed to be the best, to be setting the example...

I do however have things I can control. How I behave, the things I say, the places I go, who I associate with and how I choose to use my influence in this world. Yes we have to pick our battles, but sometimes that means we have to pick fights.

I might be getting ready to pick a fight, or maybe I am just severely lacking sleep... or both.

One thing I can no longer just stand back and accept... is all these racist acts on college campuses, that are coming from the people who are supposed to be the campus leaders. I work in that market, I have influence in that market, and enough is enough.

This fall was that ridiculous mess at Alabama... another round of racist claims made there, this time with much fact and merit behind them and the response from most people wasn't shock or surprise... it was "Well thats Alabama". I was mad that the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors who barely made a peep about it, and at their annual meeting business as usual about how great everything is going.

USA Today Article on Alabama: LINK

Then recently was the issue at Ole Miss with the statue of James Meredith getting a noose put around his neck. Lets be honest, I thought it, and I am sure many others did... Probably Fraternity prank... and yep. Sure enough was, yeah the chapter turned the guys in... so do they deserve a medal? They knew it would come out, so they acted, but they can't act like heroes now. Once again... the response from people was "well its Mississippi"... we expect that from them right? We expect that from Southern Fraternities right? Am I being negative and hyper critical, yeah absolutely. Read some news about it below.

The Ole Miss Article: LINK

So those two things, and not the only racist Greek items to make the news this year... just happened in 2013 and 2014. This isn't 1968 and we are hoping that these fraternities change their ways... It is freaking 2014, we are getting close to 50 years since MLK was assassinated... and we still are hanging nooses around black men's necks in the South? We still can't let a Black woman into a "historically" White sorority? We still don't get mad when we see it happen time and time again?

So lets stop acting like race isn't an issue. Let's stop pretending that teaching cultural competency is the solution. Let's stop pretending that hiring an expensive diversity speaker for Greek Week gets us anywhere... cause clearly none of that has worked. It's why I never wanted to be a diversity speaker, I don't want to be the guy you hire to say some stuff and then we go back to the status quo.

I think it is time we get to the heart of the matter, and no I don't have the solution, but I know not talking about it won't make things better.

Times they are a changing, but this thing won't change unless we make it... and I am ready to bring it. Now I just need to figure out what I am going to do about it...

Ima Hold YOUR Hand

On Valentine's Day we went into labor. Heather started early contractions just before I left to get Novali. I took Cruz with me, so it was just Anita and Heather at home with some peace and time together for a while as we knew baby was coming soon...

As we came back to South Bend, I explained to Cruz that mama was ready to have the baby. He replied, "Baby gonna pop out?" I told him having the baby was hard work, and that his mama's tummy would be hurting when we got home. I was trying to prepare him for watching Heather have contractions. I told him no jumping on mama when we got home, he had to be gentle with his mama and be very nice.

We got home, I put the infant seat base into the van and Novali was a huge help helping with bags, Cruz and packing. Anita was ready to see her next grandchild and helped give directions to Greg who was driving in and got things ready.

Novali holding Mari while Cruz gives her a kiss.

As we got to the hospital Heather's contractions were hot and heavy, and I have never seen Cruz so quiet. Novali was a trooper and was carrying several bags when our nurse came. Then Cruz as always impressed me... no not by his dare devil ability to jump off things without thinking, or his ability to fall down things without a flinch...

Heather was in a wheel chair being taken upstairs, we were following and I had my hands full but trying to hold on to him... and he let go and ran forward... watching him being run over by the wheel chair flashed in my imagination..

He yelled for his mama.... "Ima hold YOUR hand."

At the time I just wished I had a hand free to snap a pic. I don't think I even really caught what he said until later when I told the story. Then it hit me, it was maybe the first time that Cruz didn't hollar for his mama to hold his hand. We have been worried about how he would react to his baby sister, to not being the baby in the home, to having to share his mama with a new little person...

I think we will be fine, actually, yeah we will be good. Cruz will be a great big bother, and it will help him grow up. Novali has role modeled for him how to be a super big sister, and I know those two will help raise our little Mari.

Welcome to the world Marisa Hope Centellas. Thanks for joining us, we love you, and whenever you need, Cruz will be there to hold YOUR hand.

Our Non-Fancy Valentine

We aren't going out to a fancy dinner tonight, not spending a ton at Tippecanoe place on wine and steaks, we don't have tickets to a show at the Morris, and we won't be spending a romantic evening at the Oliver Bed and Breakfast tonight.

We started celebrating early last night, Cruz got Grammie some flowers and donuts and told her Happy Valentines. Today we are going to Wendy's for lunch with Grammie following Bad Axe Friday tradition of a frosty and burger. Then we will hit up the midwives office and well, I don't need to describe it but not how most woman might want to spend their Valentines Day.

Cruz's Valentine for Grammie

So anyhow, what does this all have to do with Valentine's Day. Cruz took his Bob the Builder Valentines in for all "Ma Freeends" at daycare. He was very excited about it and barely give me a kiss at drop off as he ran to work on their project for their cards. If I can then I will run to get Novali for the weekend and we will all be in South Bend.

Tonight we will spend it at home I think, maybe at a hospital, who knows but we will be together, celebrating for the new family member Brecken born yesterday in Arizona and waiting for the new one that will be born soon in South Bend. It might not be the Hallmark, FTD, Girrardeli media model of what today means, but for us it will be love and family and us waiting for a new one to start to love... whenever it is that she decides to arrive.

Happy Valentines to all, and hopefully soon there will be one more little person in this world for me to love and take care of and call My Valentine.

Valet the Van

Yeah I am a real baller, I rolled in luxury this weekend and got my ride valeted in Indy.

The Family Ride

This past weekend I was at the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values conference in Indianapolis. This was my 14th year attending the conference and my 12th year presenting. Wow. A couple years ago they moved the conference to Indy which has been nice. It is the largest undergraduate conference for fraternity and sorority leaders bringing nearly 3000 people together.

It was a quick in and out trip because we are expecting, yeah like this week. I didn't even register in advance because of fear I might not make it down. Well I made it, and not only did I make it, but I rolled in style down to Indy in our new (to us) Chrysler Town and Country van. You might have seen my post on Facebook or Twitter about it... if not, get your life together and follow me.

My hotel didn't have self park, only valet. Now first off I feel the need to defend myself here as I am not a baller of that status. Valet was $24, and a self park lot three blocks away was $18 per night. It was 2 degrees when I arrived, and snowing the morning I left... I think those extra $6 were well spent.

Yes sir, thats mine. 

Anyhow back to my luxurious valet experience... I rolled up in that joint like a real baller. Bass turned up, iPod connected to the system with some old skool beats (had my workout mix on), and of course the heated seats were just right. The mood lighting in the head liner gives it just the right baller feel, my garment bag was properly hanging up and I had three different drinks in cup holders (yeah I got a lot of cup holders - booyah). I bet the valet hasn't parked a ride that nice in a long time.

So the van is broken in, Cruz loves the DVD screens and I am sure can't wait for the next drive to Bad Axe, or Saginaw, or Detroit, maybe Philly with his sisters (yeah he will have two...) or down south top MS... maybe the fabled future family Florida vacation...

Who knows, I am sure it is coming, and hey, I just might valet the van then as well. Baller!

When Silence Says It All

I spent the past 6 days in Bad Axe, MI. We were all shocked by the news and with god's help everyone was able to travel safely to be there right away. I wasn't sure what to expect, or what would happen, but nothing could have prepared me for what did happen.

From the second we arrived on Thursday it was a stream of visitors. Bringing food, flowers, food, hugs, more food and offers to help. On Friday we got the news that the public schools would close on Monday, not because of the weather, but for Dave... The news made the front page of the Huron Daily Tribune on Saturday.

Sunday was the visitation and people lined up early. All day the line was not just inside, but so long it stretched outside and people braved Bad Axe cold air in their Sunday best to pay their respects.

Monday morning about 500 people filled the gym. Amazing speeches, funny memories, Cruz running up to hug grammie, a flag presentation by the State Police and even a dance. Through the memorial they raised enough so Bad Axe soccer teams would have to worry about new socks for a long time. However, it wasn't the numbers, newspaper and speeches that left me in awe...

As the gym emptied, and things were being cleaned up, one boy, all by himself went up to the front. He stood there, hands clasped in front, head down, and just stood. He stayed a while, and I am not sure who saw him, but he just stood in silence.

I was left thinking, what made him go up front? What did he say to Dave? What was his story?

Maybe he didn't have a father figure at home and Dave was not just a coach but also a positive male role model?

Or

Maybe his parents always told him everything he did was good enough, and Dave was the first person who told him it wasn't... and taught him he was capable of more.

Or

Maybe Dave was there for him when he had girl trouble and I am sure Dave straightened him out and made him smile about it.

I have no clue what he said, and I realized what helped bring it all together for me. It doesn't matter what he said, there is a mile long list of what Dave did for people. In a way that lone brave silent kid said something for all of us. He maybe said what many of us might not of been able to, or maybe he didn't say anything at all knowing whatever he said, the words probably weren't enough.

Silence might of just been the right thing to say. Once again, Dave taught us something, that silence and the small things matter most. Thanks big guy, and hey, I didn't know what to say on Monday either, and FYI your teams don't have to worry about socks next year, and I am pretty sure that would make you laugh.

Why, Why Not? Because.

Explaining things to a three year old can be hard... why we have to brush our teeth at night, why you can't have ice cream instead of dinner, why you can't stand on the seat of your bike while riding it, why you can't write on the wall with marker, why, why not, why?

Some of the things we teach our children are planned lessons. We practice colors and shapes, and point out letters like "C" for Cruz when we see them. We remind him to say please and thank you, and that you aren't supposed to push people. We laugh when he says something is "Mines" or the if he just did something he says, "Yeah I'm Is".

Well there are lessons in life we don't plan, and some we hope we never have to teach. However there are things in life that we can't predict, and more importantly ones we can't prevent.

Candle for Dave at ND

On Thursday we arrived in Bad Axe, MI and Heather went inside ahead of us. We discussed what to tell Cruz, and agreed we didn't know what to say. Cruz got excited when we arrived, he loves visiting. So I sat with him in the back seat for a minute and got him to focus. He always impresses me that when I need his attention he calms and responds. I told him, Your Mama is sad, and we need to be very quiet when we enter the house. He replied, "Yeah Mama is sad"... he knew, he felt it already even though she was hiding it. I said yes, and that is why we have to be very quiet when we go into the house. He said okay, and I told him that Papa won't be here, and for him not to ask. He said okay, and said "I be quiet for Mama". I told him not to ask Mama where Papa is, and he said "Okay".

We went in, and Cruz didn't make a peep. He smiled, waved at his Grammie and Greggy, didn't say a thing about all the cops and sat quietly. Before we left he asked about Hip Hop Santa, a toy him and Dave loved. We sat on the couch for a minute, and then we left to meet some family members. He didn't fuss or ask for his mama. I was impressed, especially cause he normally can't go 2 seconds without asking for her. He was paying his respect, in his way.

Throughout the events and hosting visitors at the house Cruz was well behaved, played when he could, stayed calm when needed and asked me a lot why his mama was sad. I would tell him because Papa Dave isn't here, and he would respond with "Oh"... luckily not asking me where he was, because I didn't have a good answer for a three year old.

Tubing

When Novali's great grandmother passed I told her to right away to remember her last memory with her Abuelita. For Cruz I thought of the same thing, and last thing I remember him doing with Dave was when he refused to go down the tubing hill. Dave just grabbed him, and put him on Novali's lap and despite his protests pushed him down the hill. Cruz promptly on his return said, "That was fun! Lets go again." He isn't scared, and instead loves tubing cause of Papa Dave.

Interestingly, if there was anyone in this family in the future to remind us of Dave it is Cruz. He can't sit still, a tad bossy, likes to be active all the time, pops his opinion quickly, likes power tools and has that perfect ginger hairdo; high and tight, high and tight.

So why do things like this happen? Why can't we prevent these types of things? Why are some questions impossible to answer? I don't know, I just know that being here, celebrating the life of Dave is truly moving. The community support, everyone stopping by, I mean they closed the public schools on Monday... and even Cruz, the untamable toddler, can be calmed in respect to a great father, coach, civil servant, father-in-law and great Papa.

So on Monday during the service, I am sure Cruz will ask a Why question that we wish we didn't have to answer... I think Cruz will ask why so many people are there... and I will be able to tell him is, because Papa isn't.

Other Duties as Assigned

For those playing along at home, I am in a new role as the Executive Director of a non-profit social service agency. I love my job at La Casa de Amistad and would not trade it for anything, but man it makes for an interesting day... lets recap Tuesday, January 21st, 2014.

8:30AM - my pre-K teacher was a little late, so helped get our facility opened up and families checked in for our Yo Puedo Leer (I Can Read) class.

9:30AM - our food pantry van (cargo van) had a flat tire. I brought in a air compressor to pump it up and see if it holds (van sat for about five weeks during break). Van wouldn't start (for me to plug in compressor), so I got keys for our passenger van. Well batteries are on opposite sides so can't jump it, and compressor cable isn't long enough. So looks like I will be using the passenger van (huge conversation van with pimp plush seats) for our food bank run.

11AM - Meeting with South Bend School Corp Staff in the adult education department. Building partnerships and sharing resources.

12:30PM - Worlds fastest lunch (AKA McDs), and they had free small coffee. SCORE!

1PM - Conference call with my Immigration/Citizenship Class coordinator and potential future volunteer/staff person. Did intros and left call early to run to food bank in conversion van.

1:15PM - Warm up conversion van, open gate, get van stuck in unplowed alley.

Stuck Van

1:20PM - Get one of my staff to help me un-stuck van. Van still stuck.

1:25PM - Get one of our interns to help steer van, while my staff and I push it. Van unstuck.

1:30PM - Back van up, plan to drive it out in straight shot to avoid getting stuck. Van slides into fence, decide not to stop (risk getting stuck again) and just keep on driving (luckily damage was minimal).

2PM - Pack and load nearly 500 pounds of food. Cans of tomato sauce are heavy!

2:30PM - En route back from food bank, van nearly runs out of gas... made it to station. Whew. Good news is gas prices are down.

2:45PM - Have to work the receptionist desk, my administrative coordinator was filling in my our Pre-K teacher that needed to leave early.

3:15PM - Youth Program First Day. Our assistant coordinator not there, because a temp job for Feb (filling in for expectant Spanish teacher) was moved to Jan when baby came early. Those babies, sometimes just can't wait.

3:30PM - While helping third grader with reading assignment learned that soccer originated in China. When asking him if he knew that, he said no, and I told him I didn't know that either so I learned something as well.  He replied, "Well everything is made in China". True, kids are so smart.

Old Building. Old Pipes.

4:00PM - Remembered we found a leak in the basement yesterday. Go down to check it out, it is worse. So can't be melting snow coming in... rip out more drywall. Tear out pipe insulation. Find pin hole leak in a pipe. Mental note, need to call plumber tomorrow. Mental note part two, Ask if anyone reading this post know a plumber in South Bend?

4:30PM - Run upstairs to take photos of kids (K to 6th grade) in the program to post on our Facebook. Then run down to the basement to take photos of the students down there (7th grade +). Second workout for the day.

4:45PM - Update Facebook Page (Like us please)

5PM - Work with accountant on plan for staff W-2s and unemployment insurance issues.

6PM - Class from IUSB comes. Do presentation, tour of building, discussion about volunteer opportunities. Students had lots of questions, I LOVE questions, cause it means they actually listened and care. Thank you Titans!

7:15PM - Class leaves. Enjoyed tour.

7:45PM - Locking up office. Cops all over outside. Shooting a block from center, reminds me why it is so important for us to be there, helping those who want a better life to be able to raise up. Also means we need to write an emergency policy in case that happened while our kids are in the building.

8PM - Put the building alarm on, head home. All in a days work.

You might think that this all means I am too busy during the day and need a break. No, I wanted to let the world know that I helped a third grader with his reading skills yesterday. That, and putting my 3 year old to bed when I got home made the entire day perfect.

My Latino Introduction

This semester I will be posting and writing more about Latino related items, mostly because I am going on a journey with my Latino Studies students at IUPUI. This week we started class with introductions of course, and then discussed Latino vs Hispanic and started in on stereotypes. It got me thinking about how my introductions usually go...

My typical introduction when someone asks if I am Latino... 

Yes I am Latino

No I am not Mexican

Yes I am an Immigrant
No I have a passport
Yes I was bitten by a monkey

No I was not born in a jungle

Yes I speak Spanish

No I am not Colombian

Yes I like tacos
No we don't eat tacos in Bolivia
Yes I learned English when I was 7
No I don't have an accent

Yes I play soccer 

No I don't like spicy food

Yes I can dance salsa

No I can't teach you, I'm not that good

Yes I get sunburns

No I was born an American

Yes my mom has red hair

No I've never been to Colombia

So you can image the types of things I would be asked growing up and imagine the other side of that introduction. Yes I hate being called Colombian, is it the only South American country people know? 

Me in Bolivia in 2003

I think we all struggle with identity growing up, always wanting to be something else, taller, bigger, stronger, blonder, smarter, faster... and while this class isn't about identity we can't ignore how it shapes the community, how others view each other and how integration happens (or doesn't) because of these perceptions of others and more importantly of ourselves. 

I wouldn't trade being a Bi-racial English as a Second Language Bolivian American Immigrant Michigander for anything in the world. I couldn't make Hoosier fit in that sentence, so lets tack that on there now as well. 

I am enjoying this class already, no major papers to grade yet so ask how I feel about it all later, but for now really enjoying the experience so far! 

And no, I am not Colombian... 

I am that Latino, but not that Latino.

Over the holiday break Novali was making lots of rubber band bracelets (its the cool thing) and asked me what colors I wanted in mine... she asked if I wanted blue (my favorite color) and I said no... she asked if I wanted purple (I wear a lot of my fraternity colors) and I said no...

She asked then what? I said, Red, Yellow and Green of course!

Oh, she replied, the Bolivia flag, oh yeah! Then she made me a killer bracelet.

Glad she knew the colors, and glad we still rock a lot of Bolivia stuff around the house. Interestingly I have been reading a ton about Latino integration and assimilation, immigration trends, Latino politics, etc. lately. Three reasons I keep up, one obviously because of my background as a Latino immigrant, two because I run a Latino community center now (La Casa de Amistad), but third and why I have been cramming a lot is that I am teaching two classes for the IUPUI Latino Studies Program.

I haven't read anything besides news articles and short research briefs in a long time. The last few months, and most important the last few weeks I have been reading A TON. I have cool connections with the books (selected for the course by department chair, not me). Here are the books required as text in my courses:

Fraga, Luis R. et al. Latinos in the New Millennium: An Almanac of Opinion, Behavior, and Policy Preferences. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2011.

Juan Gonzalez. Harvest of Empire: A History of Latinos in America. NY: Penguin, 2011.

In college my chapter co-hosted with the WMU Division of Multicultural Affairs Juan Gonzalez as a speaker. I got to meet him and introduce him at an event. I read his book back then and am enjoying the edits and updates in his second edition of the book. The book reminds me that I am "that" Latino, one that isn't in the typical story. I am not only from a country with a very small immigrant population here, but also bi-racial, an Immigrant that was born an American, and in case you are one of those people who says I look Latino... FYI: I don't.

The Fraga book, one of my connections here in South Bend from Notre Dame, Gil Cardenas was the first person thanked in the book for helping make it happen. The book also really hits close to home as it talks a lot about the integration of Latino populations over time here in the United States. I see the difference between the Latino population in Saginaw where I grew up as mostly 2nd and 3rd generation, versus the newer immigration population we have here in South Bend. Or the big contrast with the Chicago Latino community that is not only more diverse in country of origin, but maintains is culture differently because of their close community.

It is cool that I have a personal connection with both of the books. I have been having fun doing research for additional readings and ideas for student research projects. The best part is that this "extra" work ties in directly with my full time job and connects with my personal areas of academic interest.

It is interesting reading chapters where I connect about how Latino I am or feel, and other times I feel like I am not that Latino or it is a very different experience than mine. I think it reminds me of how hard it is being different... and all the things I was challenged with growing up.

Then this week I planned a Bolivian meal for the weekend. Bought meat for Anticuchos, trying some new peeled Yucca I found and some rice of course. I like getting to cook, and more importantly keeping some traditional foods in the house. I made a stir fry with my meat since grilling wasn't going to work indoors, and the peeled Yucca was good and much less messy. Everyone likes the yucca, not the biggest fan of the carne, it was lacking the spicy peanut sauce though.

I am trying to do more cultural cooking. I have one small serving of Chuño left to cook in the next weeks and then will need to find a way to get more. So Saturday I made all of that, today I have some paltas (avocados) for some dip while I watch American football... yep, I am that Latino, a Bolivian American just living the dream.

I think all of this will help me lead the class as I am still sorting through this cultural stuff myself, and we will learn and grow together. That is when the best learning happens, when both the teacher and the participants are growing. 

Here Comes Christmas Pics

Oh Christmas Tree

Here Comes Christmas Pics, Here Comes Christmas Pics...

Yes I know, I posted lots of Christmas Roast Beast photos, and not a lot of family Christmas morning present pictures frolicking in the snow. My apologies to my faithful readers (my mom), my occasional readers (Facebook friends who happen to see the post) and to the rest of my family. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I get busy, and sometimes I just want to watch Cruz get excited about a cardboard box and not document it. I know we are far apart and since I didn't get to see most of my family I feel bad I didn't post more. So here goes...

Another side note on why I took less photos... you might of noticed that we try to lean away from the materialism of Christmas. We didn't spend three months mortgage on junk toys for the Cruz, Novali didn't get an iPad and no huge 70 inch TV. Very un-American of us I know, but don't worry we did bargain hunt at JCP, Target and KMart after Christmas, got us back on the real-American bandwagon. Anyhow...

We did spend time looking for used toys for Cruz and he loved those, and of course enjoyed the cardboard boxes we packed them in more than anything. Novali got fun activities, books, some crafts, projects and yes a curler and Taylor Swift perfume. She subsequently didn't leave her room all day and it smelled like teen concert and crispy hair for days...

A box!

Books!

One thing I did want to highlight though... it was four of us for Christmas... not sure I have even had Novali on Christmas morning here with me in a long time. So it was a nice morning, all of us (just us) together opening gifts, enjoying hot cocoa and of course, smelling the roast beast cooking... yeah I had to mention it again.

Our Family

With Grandma Coates

In general it was a fun family holiday vacation, the weather was nice for travel and man did we travel. We spent a night in Flint, one in Saginaw, time in Bad Axe and ended it in Detroit... nice Michigan tour of family and friends, and all of us together. In the middle of all of that Cruz turned 3!

It was busy, and then we capped off the Holiday being snowed in for a few days (temps hit -40!). As much as being locked indoors with an active 3 year old is hard, it was a nice break from traveling and work. Some blessing comes disguised as lots of snow and ice.

Now it is back to the grind...

New Year. No Resolution, But Lots of Resolve.

It was a few years ago, I think 2006 that I made the Resolution, of No Resolutions. I had planned to be in Indy today, but with weather I canceled the trip and it gave me some me time today. So today I spent some time reading some of my old posts about New Years, some with resolutions and some just as a review of the year.

One of my favorites was NY2008, as I had just accepted the job that brought me to South Bend. Interesting to see the trajectory of my career and life at that point.

New Things for 2008

I had a few fun oldies with some pictures of Novali and other family events. l wish I had more time to look at old pictures and remember some fun times. I guess time and more good times are happening so fast I don't have time... which is a good thing I figure.

Holidays are Over (2007)

So what to write about this year? Do I start with another apology about not writing as often as I want to be to able to post? I don't know, do I dare make a resolution?

I will say that I am starting 2014 with a lot of RESOLVE. No resolutions, those are for people who wait to make things happen, like waiting for the NYE to start on something they have been wanting to do... I have been trying to seize opportunity when it comes...

I am starting 2014 in a new career... I am the Executive Director of our local Latino Community Center La Casa de Amistad. Wow, not sure I would have ever made a resolution to do something like that, but there it is, and with some resolve to achieve big tasks this year I will continue to enjoy and grow professionally and personally.

I also have another fun venture... I was asked to teach for the Latino Studies Program at IUPUI. I was approached this fall at a reception about it, and I expressed my interest... a little follow up, and now I am teaching not one, but TWO online courses. I have never taught online, but I am excited to be working with college students and teaching a subject I am very passionate about... Latino Issues.

OutSight Consulting has been doing well... and at a time when I need it most. The non-profit world pays more in personal satisfaction than future retirement contributions so I needed some additional income. During fall 2013 I had a record number of gigs, and I have a few fun things lined up for 2014. God has responded to fill the gap left from leaving higher education and I hope he continues to bless this part of my career.

So I am saving the best for last... family in 2014. It will take much resolve... but we will welcome a new family member in 2014. Cruz doesn't really know what that means, except that Heather isn't smuggling a basketball but there is a baby in there somewhere. Novali is only excited because it is a girl, and is struggling over no longer being an only child. I think she will continue to adjust, and enjoy her role more and more of a big sister, mentor and support to her younger siblings.

So there is my 2014 post... A lot of things to look forward to professionally and personally. A lot of challenges that will need constant resolve for us to succeed. So to all of you trying to keep New Years Resolutions, remember that just saying something won't help it happen, doing something about it, consistently and productively will help you accomplish your goal.

Thank you for those who still read my blog, it was a great year. A thank you to my colleagues and mentors that helped me achieve and learn from mistakes. And a big virtual hug, and "I Love You" to my family across the country and around the world.

Gracias. Feliz Año Nuevo!

Christmas Roast Beast

Merry Christmas! This Christmas was spent in South Bend... we Skyped, Facetimed and called family. It was a nice day to stay inside, just the four of us. While it was nice to not travel, I did miss family traditions so I tried to keep one alive with my little family today... 

A favorite family Centellas tradition of mine is picking at whatever is in the oven... being the first to sneak a piece of crispy skin... or calling dibs on a turkey wing or the perfect end slice of meat. Yum... so I figured if we were home all day, I needed to take advantage and try my hand at some more cooking. I have done a turkey, I have done a ham, a big pork loin is fun... but this year I wanted to try a big cut of pork, crispy skin, bone in, a real piece of Christmas Roast Beast.

Meijer had their Picnic cut pork shoulder for under a buck a pound, for the price I figured it would be a fun experiment. I did some online recipe reading, and made a plan of attack... that would start when we returned from the Christmas Eve service. Heather was prego and beaming at service, Novali was all dolled up and beautiful (Cruz told her he liked her dress clothes), and Cruz was not only cute, but a tad of a spectacle singing "Oh Christmas Tree!", but luckily not out of control. 

I scored the skin lightly and did a dry rub on the beast before bed. A generous blend of carne asada mix (yes I put it on everything), onion powder, garlic salt, black pepper and salt.  I set her in the breezeway overnight, and then once everyone went to sleep I played Santa. I then beat everyone awake and brought the meat in to sit room temperature for an hour or so. While she sat I rough cut a big white onion and made a bed for the beast and layered her up and stuffed her with a few garlic cloves. 

I made coffee, and then everyone got up and it was present time... while present time started I pre-heated the oven to 425 and my big roasting pan to 300. Once we got to temp, I put the beast in the oven for 30 minutes to give a little crisp layer, and then moved her to the roasting pan for four hours. You might of seen my live Tweeting of the roast beast phases... 

We had fun opening presents, it was fun watching Cruz open stuff, getting excited about not just the presents, but the big cardboard boxes they came in as well... ha. Novali loved all her girly items, and spent the following few hours curling and curling and curling her hair. Plus it started to snow as we unwrapped gifts and it was a beautiful Christmas morning.

Presents were done, Cruz was napping.... the final 30 minutes in the roaster I turned her up to 400 to help crisp the skin, sprinkled the sea salt and basted her a few times. Heather did a great job on all the sides... stuffing, corn, and my favorite, green bean casserole. Paired with a nice Bells Christmas Ale it was the perfect holiday meal.

On one side, it was nice not fighting with any of my family for the crispy skin.... but in reality, I wish they were here, and it was a big Centellas Holiday gathering... well now I have a good recipe to make next time we play host to a Centellas gathering, and I get to make a Big Centellas Christmas Roast Beast.

Thank You Hostess

No not for a Twinkie. To Maria our hostess at the Hilton Garden Inn at Midway.

Friday night we stayed in Chicago after Novali's Christmas program. She was an angel, did a fantastic job and looked beautiful as an angel. Since it was a late program we decided to stay the night in town and get some swimming in to kick off the holiday break.

I had a reward coupon to use, so we picked this hotel based on location and free parking. I looked at the website and they had a pool so I booked it, confirmed my coupon and off we went.

When we arrived at the hotel we noticed it was under renovation and right away my first question was... pool? They explained no it was closed, but that the Marriott next door had a deal so we can swim there.... ah. The front desk lady was good, when presented with my coupon she mentioned needing to get help to process it. I appreciate that, so many times front desk people just walk away and don't tell you what they are doing. The guy who came was polite, said hello again and walked her through processing it. They offered us bottles of water and then explained where breakfast would be in the morning.

Our room was nice, I have come to enjoy Hilton Garden Inn (and likewise Hampton) as my favorite Hilton properties (been let down too many times by Double Tree and Hilton). We ate ice cream to celebrate Novali's performance and watched TV and got a late night tuck in.

Our morning was great, we went down to breakfast and let Novali sleep in. The staff at breakfast were great, obviously serving breakfast in a conference room and not their typical diner but they made it work. Maria was our server/hostess and she was nice, checked on us regularly and helpful with Cruz. Obviously a mom, cause not many people understand how hard it is to be out with a nearly 3 year old little man with lots of items in front of him at breakfast.

Later when I brought Novali down for breakfast, Maria once again said hello, so did the rest of the team. I asked for a to-go box so we could take her meal up stairs. We got that, but we also got a nice to go tray, with cups of OJ on it and condiments, napkins, etc. WOW. We didn't even ask.

They rocked out breakfast (which is my favorite part of Hilton Garden Inns) and then when we called to ask about the pool they were great. They told us which door to go out so we were closest to the Marriot to walk over. We went, we swam, all was good, Cruz was a champ in the pool, Novali enjoyed some hot tub time...

Even when in the elevator with one of their house keeping staff they made eye contract and told me to have a nice day. Usually they avoid you in elevators and don't know how to reply when you say hello.

This morning I got an email from their manager asking how my stay was... it seemed like a real direct email. Not those spam surveys I get from most hotel stays. I wrote her a quick note, and thought... for all the negative rants I do on Twitter about customer service (BTW Enterprise never replied) I need to do a nice positive rant. Thank you Gabriella and your team for a good stay.

Now if you guys can do something about that crazy Chicago traffic... I might visit even more. HA.

Check out their hotel WEBSITE next time you are in the area or flying from Midway.

Mr. Odd Gifter

So I like to think I am thoughtful, or maybe it is just weird, not sure what you want to call it, but I don't always get traditional gifts. They say it is the thought that counts, and I try to put thought and effort into things.

Our Christmas Tree

So this year I got Heather an odd gift for Christmas. No I am not ruining the surprise, she got it this past Tuesday, but not sure she knew it was a Christmas gift yet...

First, maybe you need examples of other potentially perceived as odd gifts I have given Heather... once we had gotten serious, I decided to gift her a duplicate set of everything she needs when coming to visit for a weekend. Yeah a duplicate set of toiletries and blow dryer might not be the coolest gift to some... but it meant, I like you, I like when you come over, and I want it to be easier for you to come and visit (we lived far apart). Did she write all her sorority sisters about it, and post a picture of it on FB... hardly, but I thought it was a important step in our relationship.

Call me Mr. Odd Gifter, but thats the type of stuff I like to think of as presents.

Well this past Tuesday, not really a gift from me to her... but I had to put in mountains of work to make it happen... we signed a new mortgage. Yeah it came with about a point drop in interest rate, we got out of FHA, we now have no PMI on our mortgage, and dropped our monthly payment a couple hundred bucks. Sexy Christmas Gift huh? Did I mention our house appraised for about 40% more than when we bought it? Getting sexier now huh?

Really the gift isn't the mortgage... to me, the gift is signing a document, for us to live in a house together (if either of us leaves the house it is technically a violation of our mortgage agreement) and raise our kids there (technically raise kids is not in the mortgage agreement, but its a four bedroom house, read between the lines) for the next 30 years.

Yeah, 30 years, thats a long time, like a really long time.

So maybe you still don't get how this is a cool Christmas gift huh? Well the couple hundred we save monthly on our mortgage means we can afford to get a snazzy van for the growing family. Yeah, just how I always envisioned spending extra money in my pocket, on a bigger, less fun car, and probably without rims.

Yes we will get Heather some "normal" Christmas gifts, so don't worry. Cruz knows his mama likes flowers, chicken and cheese, so something along those lines will be coming. However, some advice for everyone else, maybe don't spend cash on things that will end up in drawers, or donated to Goodwill in four years... maybe find ways to change your life for others, so they know how much you care.

So call me Mr. Odd Gifter, but I rather do something that shows someone how much I care, not spend a certain amount of money as an example of how much I want them to think I care... especially if you buy things you can't afford.

Admit it, you are jealous about the no PMI for Christmas...
Now how to wrap that and put it under our tree...

Walk With Father Jenkins

People that have heard me speak know that I sometimes use a quote from Father John Jenkins in my presentations. Father Jenkins is the current president of the University of Notre Dame. Recently the quote I use has been featured in the ND commercials that play during their football games. The quote I use is:


"Let no one ever again say we dreamed too small."

It was part of his inaugural address at Notre Dame and when I speak to students about having dreams and sharing them with others I use this quote.

Well this week I was invited to a special event at Notre Dame, at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart, for local community leaders. It was a prayer service followed by a reception and I was just honored to be invited. Interestingly I knew a lot of the people there, and more to my surprise many of the community leaders that I haven't met knew me and my role with La Casa. Word travels fast I guess and I am impressed at how well the name of La Casa de Amistad is received by our local leaders.

As I was leaving the Basilica and heading to the reception I happened to hold the door for none other than Father Jenkins. So him and I walked together to the reception. He also had high regards for La Casa, and I thanked him for the work the college does in enrolling Latino students. His reply, "But we can do more." They currently rank in the top 25 Colleges for Latino students... about 10% Latino enrollment is very impressive. He asked about the work we are doing and praised our impact in the community. We then talked about the big celebration they planned for their Latino students for Lady of Guadalupe and his love of the passion and energy the Latino students bring to the faith and campus.

I have been blessed lately with so many opportunities, and that was another great one. In a job where I am constantly reminded of the great need and of all the work in front of us, it was nice to be reminded, by one of the great pillars of our community, of the tremendous support we have behind our work.

Thank you to the University of Notre Dame, and especially to Father Jenkins. I hope in the future to have more time with you about ideas of how together we, Can Do More.

Chocolate Milk and House Guests

Recently I have been distracted with work... end of the year fundraising for La Casa has kept my mind focused on that and I have been a little spacey at home... good example of recent issues. 

On Sunday Heather sent me a message to get some organic milk, and a couple other grocery items after I was done with our local radio station event supporting one of our programs (at a local grocery store). So I quickly got the items, did my live radio interview and then headed home. 

Tonight, Heather texted me, to get some white milk. I reply, organic or regular... kinda eluding to, well I just bought milk, so do we really need more? Here was our exchange: 

D: Can u buy white milk?

Me: Not organic?

D: Organic, but you bought chocolate

Luckily Heather has been a good sport about my busy schedule, and often my distracted attention with some important items happening at work. She was even a good sport, when for our weekend immersion program I told her we might have to host a couple college kids in our home overnight... fortunately we had enough families to host all of the students and it worked out, mostly for my sake, but also better that the students stay with our La Casa families in the neighborhood they are learning about in class. 

So thought I would share a moment of humor we had, and a public thank you to for all Heather has to put up with around the house. On that note, an early thank you as I am leaving town for a couple days to present in Indy on Thursday, and Syracuse on Friday... I am back on the road presenting. As Cruz would say, "Thanks Babe." 

50 Percent Off Priceless

Today is Heather's Birthday. We are married with children, and one on the way... so tonight won't be a rager party to celebrate.

While there won't be a rager, we have a lot to celebrate. As we get older we can celebrate what we have done together, and learned over the years. I think our recent weekend really sums up who she is and as much as this might sound more like a Mother's Day post, she is a mother that is expecting, and its pretty much all we talk about so here we go...

Saturday morning she made her breakfast potatoes (awesome!) and played with Cruz. She let me sleep in, and then we planned our errands and activities for the weekend. Goodwill had their 50% off sale, so had to go look for baby girl clothes. Cruz found a truck he liked, I found a nearly mint condition Dirty Dancing VHS (Heather didn't want it), and Cruz got dirty on the floor pushing trucks around.

Then we picked up Novali (she likes to sleep in), and little man Cruz got a haircut. Then it was off to Kolhs, we like to shop holiday decorations after the holiday. Heather scored a cool halloween table cloth, and yes 50% off. Not to mention costumes we got for Novalí, Cruz, and future baby girl for next year this week 50% off as well. We like to shop in advance...

As Novali likes to say, "Heather is crafty", so that afternoon they rolled, baked and frosted some Halloween cookies. Yes it was in November, we have learned to be flexible on Holidays because of when we can get Novali. So past date, but still great. Plus Cruz loves frosting no matter the occasion, belated or not.

Sunday, Heather planned our traditional backyard photo shoot. People always love our cards, and are surprised to learn they are usually taken with my camera propped up on something (cause I can never find my tripod when I need it), and after many outtakes we find just the right pic. I am sure Heather has a 50% off coupon to use, and you all will be getting a great card from us soon. Here is my favorite candid shot of Heather spinning Cruz around between pics.

So Heather is one year older, and her value continues to hold at priceless, no after holiday sale here for sure. Plus not sure what 50 Percent off Priceless would be anyways. We have learned to be thrifty, she is crafty as ever, she is great at mama snuggles, we have learned to just be who we are as we age and I enjoy her each year more and more. Love ya babe, Happy Birthday.

Fall Into Spring

Love the fall colors.

Here is a leadership lesson, from my plants. Yep, nature can teach us if we listen...

This weekend is fall back... you get a free hour and I will admit that I slept in a little. I will be honest and say that I don't see today as a "free hour", but as a reminder that how you use time today impacts your tomorrow. Good leadership lesson, and a more importantly a great gardening lesson.

I like to teach with analogies... I teach leadership, and I like gardening so this is a good fit. Each year since getting our house I post photos of my flowers, plants and landscaping changes. I don't, however, write a lot about what it takes to make them look so nice. I was thinking earlier how much gardening is like leadership, you get back what you put into a project, and you have to trust, follow directions, and be patient.

Fall is when you start prepping for your plants for next year. I learned a lot of lessons my first couple years with certain plants, when to prune, how to prune, cutting back in the fall, mulching before winter, etc. 

Over the past few days I have been prepping my plants. I dead headed the Hydrangeas, cropped back the daylily plants, cut my decorative grasses, and gotten plants ready to survive winter. I still have to put some winter fertilizer down, mow the grass nice and short, and put some mulch and fresh dirt around a few of the plants.

Still next season hydrangea flowers.

I learned the hard way that you have to follow the right steps and to be willing to ask questions and look up information. Not using good dirt means the plant won't grow, or putting them in a less than ideal spot for the sun they need they won't flower. I also learned not to lose faith, some plants I nearly lost, but with some time and patience came back and flowered for me. I also under estimated some plants... I planted some too close together thinking they wouldn't go that fast and then had to thin them out.

It is just like people... don't give them what they need, they won't bloom. Don't listen to what they need, you won't get what you expect from them. Sometimes the right things will happen, but you have to be patient and get results on their timeline, not yours.

Yeah my plants are smart and excellent teachers.

I love my plants, I love the zen feeling I get out there weeding and mulching and the pride I get of posting great flower photos. Hopefully winter behaves, and I have prepped the correct way so spring will be beautiful once again.

My 2013 Flowers: Album

8 Days of Celebration

Well I just completed 8 days full of events for work. I was in front of news camera crews on four dates in 8 days... and I have completed my first month on the job at La Casa de Amistad.

Last Friday (10/11) we had an open house. It was a mixed crowd of first time visitors and regulars, some of our board members and families that attend the center. We did have some folks pick up some sponsorships and buy tickets so for friend and fundraising it was successful. We were in the paper that day, and our local ABC station came and did interviews (but we didn't make the news).
SB Tribune: La Casa Events

Then it was a hectic week of prep for our big dinner and dance events. Last minute arrangements, calls on tickets and collecting all of our items for the silent auction kept me busy.

Silent Auction

Ready for Dinner

Thursday (10/17) was our 40th Anniversary dinner. We had the mayor, our state senator, chief of police, school board... the list was endless. We had 140 people there, nearly 40 items in our silent auction and a great event with a Proclamation from the Mayor, the CEO of our major hospital as our keynote, and awards for some outstanding community members. It was my first major event with La Casa and I enjoyed it and it went well.
ABC57 News: 40th Anniversary

Awards Dinner

Immigration Forum

Friday (10/18) the Northern Indiana Coalition for Immigration Reform asked me to serve as the moderator for an Immigration Roundtable. It featured the mayor, head of the local AFL-CIO, religious leaders, a naturalized citizen and local business representatives. Once again news coverage!
WNDU: Immigration Roundtable

Finally on Saturday (10/19) was the big annual dance for La Casa. It is the annual celebration and musical event for the community. We had cake for our 40th Anniversary and a great line up of musical acts and special presentations at our downtown conference center.

Great Music!

Dancing

It was a long few days... but a great time of networking, learning more in my new role and celebrating the great work of La Casa! It is truly an honor to be in such an important role in our community. I am blessed to see so many people that believe in and support the work we do in South Bend. Watch for more big news, and fun events... but for now I need a little down time!

And We Marched

Well we didn't bring down the government, they already did that to themselves, and it wasn't a scene from Berkley in the 60s... but we did it, we marched on the Office of Indiana Congresswoman Jackie Walorski to ask her to support comprehensive immigration reform.

Last Friday was the march, our coalition group gathered on a hot and muggy October afternoon. Luckily it stayed dry during our march, I think the chance of rain kept our crowd smaller than hoped, but we still rolled 100+ deep.

Our group was the Northern Indiana Coalition for Immigration Reform, lead mostly by Union organizers and it has been great getting to know them and of course have their support on this important issue. We had a great turnout from our local Latino radio station, Sabor Latino and attorney Felipe Merino, some Notre Dame and IUSB Faculty and many others. Of course leaders like Greg Chavez and many of my current and former La Casa staff were there as well.

The next event will be on October 18th, 2013 at 4:30PM at the County/City Building. We have speakers like Mayor Pete, local religious leaders, lawyers, and hopefully Jackie will join us for our roundtable on immigration reform. I will be there again, and this time I will get some microphone time so wish me luck. 

Some great pictures in the SB Tribune Article on the march: Rally Pictures
We made two news stations, the Latino radio station, local Spanish Newspaper and our main newspaper. Overall great coverage!

I am glad to be more involved in these types of activities now. Hopefully we can help make a difference on these critical issues in our country. If you are reading this, and in the South Bend area I hope you join us in the County/City building on the 18th and support this important cause.

Mums the Word

Each fall we put some Mums into the planters around the house. Last year we did yellow, and those Mums are now growing very nicely in the back yard! They started to bloom a week back and look great! They are the newest (and last photos) in my Flowers 2013 Album on Facebook.

Well this weekend was Mum weekend. This year Cruz and I got them planted for mama, he knows she likes flowers... Heather picked out purple ones this year (I swear it wasn't me). Cruz is old enough now to be much more helpful than he was last year, and after we did the first one... he explained to his mama how it's done... cause of course, toddlers are experts on any task once they have done it once...

We had fun, hopefully they bloom well for a few weeks, and then we can transplant them to the backyard for future years.

The UnGlamorous Traveler

So many people love traveling, many people hate traveling, many people have no idea the life of someone who does a lot of traveling. So let me fill you in on my last four days...

Late night work on projects.

Wednesday Night: I worked a full day, had class and then drove late in the evening to Indianapolis. I had a 7AM Flight from IND. I got into my hotel late, did some late night work on my presentation for Thursday and got to bed.

Thursday Morning: got up at 5AM, drove to IND in the pouring rain. Checked in for flight, got through security, went to my gate... DELAY. It was storming and lightning. I was flying to Lynchburg, VA, through Charlotte (CLT) to speak Thursday night at Virginia Tech. The delay backed me up into missing my connection, so I was able to just fly in and out of Charlotte. Good on flights, but I had to quickly switch hotels and car rental... re-plan my times for driving to Blacksburg... AH.

Landed in Charlotte at 9AM. I had quickly booked a Double Tree that morning, and on arrival called and asked about early check in, they said they would try. I arrive at the hotel at 10AM, first on the check in list and worked in the business center. Long story short, I needed to leave by 2PM for Blackburg... after waiting, and asking, and waiting, and watching her check other people in... I finally at 2PM canceled my room for that night, and shaved and got dressed in the hotel bathroom and left... APPALLED. The classy life of someone on a schedule.

Love when Greeks represent
at my workshops!

I drove three hours to Blacksburg, ate lunch in the car, arrived, worked with some amazing staff and students and presented my "Abuelitas Hands" lecture. Got great reviews and a line of students to speak with me afterwards and then dinner with the event planners.

More info on my Presentation: My Virginia Experience

Thursday Night: Left Blacksburg at about 10PM for my 3 hour drive home... got pulled over on my way back (ticket!). On my drive made calls around CLT for a hotel for a few hours before my early morning Friday flight and do it all over again.

Friday morning: Up at 5:30AM. Returned rental car, got through security, got to gate.... luckily everything on time. Arri ve in Indy and have just two hours before my luncheon with Indiana Latino Institute with Governor Pence. So, changed from traveling clothes into my suit in the back of my Element. Parked at JW Marriot, had lunch, networked, and wrapped up to drive 3 hours back home.

Mary Peterson mingling with
Brothers at our reception.

Saturday: Breakfast with Heather, got errands done and organized around the house. It was busy morning with Cruz... went to the library, got Cruz a hair cut and went to Memorial Health Works (kid museum). Then at 3PM drove to Chicago, arrived early so had dinner by myself while cheering for the Irish on TV.

Saturday Night: Served as host for our Fraternity Foundation Reception and have a great time connecting with Brothers I haven't seen in a while and meeting new Brothers. Left at 11PM my time to drive home... about 10 miles from home, get a flat tire going through typical Indiana construction! Its 1:30AM, and I take off my dress shirt, and get to work and in about 10 minutes got the spare tire on and got home before 2AM. AH....

Flat tire...

Sunday: Got to sleep in, which was very nice... and then took Cruz with me to La Casa to get a couple things picked up, and after his nap... last program. A reception for the Good Sheppard Montessori School to help raise support for the new Olga Larimer Scholarship to help a La Casa student attend the school for free... very great program! More good networking, and then... my four days of busy was done...

So four programs, four days, four cities (Blacksburg, Indianapolis, Chicago, South Bend) in three states. Not luxurious, nothing fancy, but all important parts of my positions as we develop networks for supporting La Casa and my fraternity.

Whew... now no traveling for two weeks!