Learning To Lose

Cruz's Pop Warner team ended their season on Sunday. They lost 19-18, there was crying, there was yelling at refs, there was even yelling at coaches, just overall lots of yelling and emotions. It's the part of sports I don't like, the ugly side, the anger, the desire to place blame, desire to take credit for luck, and just all the negative that comes from competition. We don't do enough to learn and teach through that though, so I wanted to be sure Cruz still got something from all of that... 

During the regular season they had a losing record. In the playoffs they won two in a row, going farther than I thought, and that my schedule planned... but I was excited for him with each win. His smile, his excitement, his smack talking, his boost in confidence. I mean they didn't expect to win a state championship, and they are 10, they will have many other chances. 

I was honestly disappointed in my side of the fans, I too was frustrated with the refs, but hey that's life. The calls don't, and won't, always go your way. Learning how to lose is important, learning that you can only control what you can control is a valuable life lesson. I was pleasantly surprised though, as usual, by Cruz.... all the other players were crying (nothing wrong with crying for the right reason) and complaining and he told me, "I am not sad, it's my first year playing and we made it to the third round of the playoffs!" 

Despite their record (regular season or playoffs) the season has allowed some important lessons. Obviously team work, preparation, importance of focus, why we practice, etc. are all good lessons. All transferable to real life, and even lessons directly from football to remember that your legs are stronger than your arms. They lost their first game of the season, and until the playoffs maintained a losing record. 

So the lesson midseason was, how do we lose and stay positive? 

Cruz is super competitive, he might get that from me... he likes to win, he likes to talk smack, he is confident in who he is and what he knows... often times to his detriment. He thinks he is good in school, but he doesn't get all As... likewise on the field he thinks he is the fastest, most accurate passer, and best player on the team. He is actually second string (started a couple games), plays enough, and above all else has fun. He is in it for the game, not the win... and long term that means he will win more than he loses. 

Whereas I love his confidence, and in the long run it will serve him well, his teams losses have been good for him. Learning to lose is maybe one of life's most important lessons, maybe followed closely by learning how to win (another blog for another day). 

My other favorite quote from him post game, and if you know him, he is good at stats... "Papi, the first time we played them we lost 12-0... so this time we only lost by one, and they are the best team (I think undefeated all season)". 

I think of all the titles I have had in life, coach is one I have never felt ready for, but one that I hope to have some day. I enjoy watching him play, being able to be there for most of his practices, and watch him grow and develop. He is making new friends (its not a school team, so they all come from lots of schools), learning to be humble, learning to play as a team, learning to lose, with poise and grace and purpose. 

So lesson at the end of the season? Losing doesn't define you, you do, focus on the positive and get ready for your next shot, its coming up quick. Complain too much and you'll miss it. 

He wants to play next year. Not cause he thinks his team we will, but because he hopes to be better.