Cross Country Lessons

Go Eagles!

This fall Novali had her first season of cross country. She always liked to run with me, I think mostly because the runs are fundraisers, but still she would do the occasional 5k with me. She was entering a new high school, new city, and I thought it would be a great way for her to make friends before school started.

I think athletics is a great way for students to learn leadership skills, to learn to balance a hectic schedule, to learn to work with different types of people, and of course to learn a little about GRIT. Life isn't easy, neither are sports, and learning to handle challenges in a sport make you better at handling challenges in the real world.

Novali did well, great actually. She made some good friends, and this week I saw that at the annual sports banquet. Her friends, teammates, coach... all together and I was proud of what she accomplished. She ran her first 5k of the season in 38 minutes... and she cut her time down an impressive ten minutes and ended the season running a 28 minute time. She learned she can push herself.

I also learned a lot... its a sport I really know nothing about it. I always loved running, but it conflicted with soccer. I had to learn the sport, learn new county parks, and I also got some great leadership lessons from the sport.

Novali taught me how strong she is. She started the season weeks after everyone else, she joined without any training and had to jump right in. She didn't know anyone at the school, on the team, and she worked hard to run and fit in. All while being a successful student. She balanced it all and did it well.

My favorite leadership lesson was about sportsmanship.

When the team runs, many parents and spectators run around to points on the course to cheer on their student. I got my exercise running to points along the course to encourage Novali. Well one time near a spot as she passed a girl from another team, and I heard the other girl say, "Good Job" and Novali replied, "You to".

Until then I always thought Novali was just out there running alone, working on her best time. I realized she wasn't, everyone out there was in it together. Yeah I am sure it is more contentious towards the front, but it really was great to see the sportsmanship.

Her season ended, she made some good friends, she kept up her grades and is looking forward to the next season. We ran a 5k last weekend, and will do some training in the off season... proud of her and I am looking forward to next season. GO EAGLES.

No Longer The New Guy

Well today it is two years... two years since I became a full time employee of La Casa de Amistad.

I technically started in mid August part time helping in the evenings, doing some training, and telling people that I was the new guy at La Casa. Today I am officially two years old and wow it feels like just yesterday, but also like I have been in this office all my life.

Cruz at La Casa

I know why it feels like I just started... cause I am excited for everyday here at work. I am excited that I am still learning and growing. I am excited that I know this humble place is making a difference. I am excited to see construction equipment on a once dilapidated neighborhood. I am excited to tell folks my son is a graduate of our Yo Puedo Leer class. I am excited to attend events and proudly share with people where I work and what we do.

I know why it feels like I have been here all my life... cause it feels right. It feels right when I get to represent our community in places where we haven't typically had a voice. It feels right that daily I get to listen to community needs and help explain those needs to people who have the ability to help solve them. It feels right when I help our community solve its own problems. It feels right when we get to tell a parent that we can help them with their child, and that things will be alright.

I am excited and it feels right because I am where I am supposed to be. I am in a place where my talents are put to good use. I am in a place that I get to help others put their talents to good use. I am in a place where this amazing team that surrounds me puts our work before us and goes about finishing that work together.

So to the community... thanks for accepting this not-Latino-looking-Spanglish-speaking-kinda-white guy into the community. Your trust means more to me than anything.

So to my team... not sure any of you read my blog, and I hope I tell you face to face enough... Thank you for making me love my job. Thank you for your sacrifices and for all you do for our community

So to my board... thank you for believing in me, and thank you for stepping up when others won't, for helping out when others can't, and for keeping me focused.

Mostly to my family... for dealing with the long nights, for understanding my schedule, and for being just as much a part of the important work of this place as I am. For where one of us is, we all are, and when one of us succeeds we all do. Thank you for your sacrifices.

Back to School Bravery

This week was hectic for the South Bend Centellas clan... both Cruz and Novali started new schools. Novali into High School and Cruz into a new preschool. Lots of school lists, information from the school, planning driving routes and figuring timing out... hectic.

It was nice that my parents were here to help, but yesterday I took them to the airport to fly out to Boston to visit my brother Andres and his newest addition to the family, Liam Centellas. So today we were on our own.

Each morning Cruz would say he is scared. First two days Heather went with us and she walked him in, third day I drove him myself and I walked him up. Today he said he was scared as we packed up the car. He asked about just going to his other school instead... but I told him not to worry, that he is brave and that he would have fun again (each day at pick up he says he had fun). He smiled when I told him he was brave.

So Cruz and I rode to school and dropped off Mari first. Then we started the routine to do drop off for Cruz at his new school. As we pulled up front he said, "Papi, I can walk by myself", and he did.

Hopped out, put on his book bag, and walked into school. I didn't even get a waive.

Bravery comes in lots of forms. Sometimes it is a fireman running into a fire, but sometimes it is a little four year old putting on his backpack and walking into school. Sometimes it is a teenage girl, who just moved towns to a new school and without knowing a soul walked into a big scary high school.

We often under estimate our kids, or don't give them credit for how hard some of these things can be... but we also have to balance not giving them an easy out. We have to give them opportunities to learn how strong they are, and give them chances to show us how much stronger they are than we could have ever imaged.

One Proud Papi Today.

Anniversaries and Priorities

Today D and I have been married for six years. We've been together for over ten years, so this milestone while fun it is one of many, and one of many more to come.

So what makes it work? I was reflecting on it all week... got a few different blog ideas during the process but I realized one thing that we do that makes it work, we have the same priorities. When we met in grad school, we dated, we lived apart, we lived close, we worked a lot. We made it work because we knew we both had priorities and in that stage in life you get pulled in a lot of different directions.

Today we celebrate six years of marriage and I think of all the times our priorities came together to make things work is why things have not just lasted so long, but will continue to go well.

We got married in a simple ceremony in Bad Axe, MI. We didn't have to spend a ton of money to have a good time (don't worry, we all had a good time...). The money we saved was the downpayment on our house and paid for some of the important updating the house needed. Priorities.

We have a new roof instead of a new kitchen. We never painted our bedroom, but all the kids rooms are painted and updated, and even our guest room was totally redone. Priorities.

Our kids and family are our priority, and we sacrifice for them without question. It makes it work for us, and while a brand new kitchen would be nice, I don't notice it when I come home and Mari races into my arms at the kitchen door. Prioriries.

We aren't rich, but without question Heather encouraged me to take the La Casa job even though it was a lot less money. Heather could make more somewhere else I am sure, but the tuition benefit for the kids is more important. Priorities.

Thanks Babe, I know things aren't perfect; someday we will have the dream kitchen, and my Datsun will be on the track, and we will redo our bedroom, and we won't have to offer to change a poopy diaper... until then morning muffins, chasing toddler babies and garden flowers will do. Priorities.

Love You. Happy Aniversary.

135,000 Miles and $15,000 Jetta

Broken window...

Last week the Jetta window went off track... and I popped it back in and I thought it was fine. Well Sunday night late the window popped off track again and as I tried to put it back... thump... it fell all the way down in the door. No way to pull it back up, it was getting dark... and so I threw a tarp over the car and did some online research on how to fix it...

We own a 2003 VW Jetta GLS. It was a big step for D, she bought the car on her own, financed it, shopped for it, and negotiated the deal. We got it certified VW, with less than 30,000 miles on it.

Well... tonight I spent some time getting close and personal with the Jetta. I had torn apart the door panel to try and fix the window. I had called our local VW dealer and they couldn't get it in until Friday... WHOA... plus it was $120 just to tell me what is wrong. My research told me it was probably the clips. I couldn't find that part online though was my worry... So I left work early and pulled out the tools. It took a while, door panels are tricky, but with some youtube vids and online forum help I got it apart and started to trouble shoot. Once apart, I saw that the clips looked fine, I just had to pull the window (harder than it sounds) and then reset it in place and tighten the clips. With Ds help we got it done...

Torn apart door

Then I worked on the AC for a bit... its been broken for years, and last year I charged the freon but it stopped soon after so I figured it wasn't freon. Well tonight I trouble shooted and caught a blown fuse, which didn't fix it... but then recharging the freon got it going! So it was two things... but lets see how slow the leak is and I hope it keeps running.

So why did I work so hard to fix the Jetta? It has been in the family for nearly 10 years... and paid off now for a long time. I did some quick math and I would guess it saved us about $15,000 in car payments. WOW! So I don't mind dealing with AC that doesn't always work, or a window that gets stuck... or spending some time in the heat fixing the window. Worth it.

So I also hope that I get to teach Novali how to drive in it... this could be her first car. Lets see how it goes... Go Jetta Go!

Cruz Morning Routine

Well today my morning routine was different... I went to work alone and it felt weird.

September 2014

For the past 9 months part of my morning routine was taking Mari to daycare, and then bringing Cruz with me to La Casa for Yo Puedo Leer. We enrolled Cruz in our preschool class called Yo Puedo Leer, which means "I Can Read". The class is designed for Spanish speaking 3 and 4 year olds to get ready for kindergarten. The unique curriculum, which is proprietary to La Casa, teaches the kindergarten prep materials in both languages. Our success at getting kids ready for kindergarten wasn't the only reason I put him in it, I really wanted Cruz to learn more Spanish since we don't speak it at home. What he learned, and I learned, was a whole lot more.

The first month or so Cruz cried at drop off, he would do that at daycare as well and hated switching rooms and new teachers. Most kids don't like transition, but I realized there was a little more to it here at La Casa. In the fall the kids didn't speak much English, and Cruz didn't speak Spanish... he was left out and it was hard.

At first I felt bad for him, and wanted to see what I could do to help... you know, typical parent instinct. Then I thought, this would teach him to be flexible, teach him grit, teach him not to give up. I moved to the US and was forced into school right away and didn't speak the language. I survived it, and I think experiences like that teach you to be resilient. Cruz made it through, and in no time made good friends with his class, and learned some Spanish.

My Graduate

I really enjoyed getting to see him each morning. Him waving as he walked by my door on the way to get a drink. Hearing him saying over and over... "Ms Ana, Ms Ana, Ms Ana"... when asking the teacher a question. Being able to pick out his voice when the class was singing. Or beaming the one day when giving a tour that I walked into the classroom while he was standing at the board using the pointer and doing his alfabeto. I for sure will miss the drive to ECDC at lunch time and having him sing Dos Elefantes for me.

It was fun being there while he was growing up. Seeing him become confident, watching his shy personality come out, hearing him sing new songs, and just watching him learn. I will miss his "Adios Abuelita" to our classroom Foster Grandparent as we left each day.

Well summer will be different as he will be all day at ECDC. I won't get our midday drive, or see him during the day. I am a really proud papi and glad we had this fun time together as the rest of his schooling won't be as close.

Baby Giant

We always make comments about how big Mari has gotten, or how fast she is growing. Well on Wednesday morning Cruz made the comment when she was climbing out of her high chair (yes on her own) that... "Look! Mari is a Baby Giant!"

Well later that afternoon Mari had her 12 month wellness visit with the doctor. As usual everywhere she goes people love her ginger hair as soon as she pops out of her car seat. Then they notice her cute little teeth coming in and great smile.

The doctor when she saw her was like wow... thats a big baby! Well Mari was in just over the holiday break for an ear infection so it wasn't like it had been that long. Well in those barely two months Mari grew three inches! Whoa...

Well the official tale of the tape... Mari is 32 Inches tall and 20 Pounds. That makes her 99.9 percentile in height, and 75 percentile in weight.

So yeah, I guess Cruz was right, Mari is a Baby Giant! Well Mari is for sure DeCourval Strong...

Then she also got shots and she always takes them like a champ. When she got her flu shot she just barely grunted and mean mugged the nurse. This time she got three, and by the second one was crying... its always hard as the dad I am the one who has to hold her still while the nurse gives the shot. Then D is the one who consoles my baby...

We are glad to have a healthy baby ginger giant.

Leaving a Legacy

Yesterday I heard one of my favorite community leaders give some awesome advice, and today came the news that a great community leader passed away. So I had to stop and reflect, and then I figured I needed to connect the two.

At a United Way panel yesterday Mayor Pete made some comments about coming together in the new focus of the United Way to combat poverty. He made a statement that I connected to and he said it in a way that really got me thinking.

Mayor Pete said something to the effect of, that often times the hardest thing for a leader to do is to decide the things they aren't going to do... I have always told students they are constantly making decisions, and it is the ones when you decide not to act, in which you are really acting, and your indecision is a decision to support the status quo. His view on the similar thing got me thinking also about leadership bandwidth... we can't always fight all the fights, and sometimes showing our resolve through focus can be powerful.

Then this morning came the news the Father Hesburgh passed away. Undoubtably one of the best leaders this community has seen, and one of the top in the country. His mark on Notre Dame, catholic education, South Bend and this country can be felt in many ways. The famous picture of him standing with MLK is iconic. Was he perfect? No. Did he fight every fight? No. Did he win a lot of his fights, absolutely.

It got me thinking about fights and cheerleaders. Someday I will write a blog about that... Hesburgh fought some great fights, sometimes he was a great cheerleader, and he helped build an amazing world class institution. He was though silent on certain items and Notre Dame lagged behind on some critical social issues. Does that make him not a good leader.... no it means he picked his battles. I talked recently with a former student who talked of his disappointment that ND didn't fight XYZ battle, and the comments from Pete yesterday, the news of Hesburgh's passing all made these items come together.

God Bless to a great man. He did what he could do. I never had a chance to talk to him, but I sure he knows how much he changed lives, and I hope Notre Dame continues to honor his legacy of making a difference in this world through their institution. God Bless.

New Year. New Opportunities. New Focus.

Well I have blogged before about the fact that I don't make New Year's Resolutions (New Years Resolve). I have always used the time to reflect on my year, and most importantly prepare for the future. So no 2015 resolutions, lots of 2014 to celebrate, and more to think about for 2015.

So what did 2014 bring me...

It was my first full year in my new position at La Casa de Amistad... boy has that been an adventure. I have learned so much this year, about my community, about those who care, and those who don't... but most importantly I learned a lot about myself. I learned that this old goat can still learn some new tricks. I learned that I can still work a 13 hour day, but the day after is rougher than I remember. I learned that leading with your heart on your sleeves leaves you spent at the end of the day, but satisfied with the outcomes. I can tease you now and say that while 2014 was good for La Casa... our 2015 will be bigger than ever... new programs, expanding programs and making a bigger impact in the community.

I had another child this year... little Marisa Hope was born on Feb 15th. She waited for me to get back from Chicago on a cold Friday evening drive. I had forgotten how hard a new born is, I was reminded how awesome D is and great with the kiddos. I learned that my time away from home is more valuable now, and yes I put a dollar figure on it (sorry I can't come speak on your campus for free). So I stay closer to home more now, and love that my full-time job keeps me close by.

It was a banner year for OutSight Consulting and my speaking career. I had not realized how good of a rep I had, but this year I had as many rebookings as I had new clients and if that continues I won't need many more new clients. I can narrow in and help targeted groups, and be selective about helping places where I know I can make impact. So far 2015 is off to a good start with a handful of bookings already.

I was reminded of the importance of family. When I got the call that Dave passed, it was a shock, and then the strength, and importance of family slapped me in the face. In South Bend we are far from family, and tend to only see family on special occasions. It reminded me that we need to hit the road more often, facetime when we can, and keep lines of communication tight.

So for 2015 my focus will be on trying to be home more, working on high impact projects and trying to let go of all the small things. Politics, arguments and other distractions need to get cut out so I can be efficient, effective and then come home to play with my kids. I teach in my lectures that to leave a positive legacy you need to focus on the big impact items... I need to listen to myself here and do as I say... #WhatsYourLegacy

With my new focus I am looking forward to Cruz being big enough to help me with flowers this spring, to watching Mari run around the backyard, and helping Novali make her decision on which high school to attend.... wish us luck...

Good luck to all in 2015, God Bless, and Happy New Year!

1984, My 1st American Christmas

Last week, Cruz's "Yo Puedo Leer" Preschool class at La Casa had their holiday party. It was a fun time with the families of the program to celebrate a good semester. The teacher asked the parents to share what Christmas means to them, and maybe a special family tradition they think about during Christmas. Maybe because I was surrounded with other immigrants, but my mind immediately shot to 1984... my first American Christmas.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it doesn't snow on Christmas, it doesn't snow ever. I was excited to come with my parents and two brothers to visit Saginaw, MI for vacation again and this time see SNOW...

Andres and I sledding

I don't remember what I wanted for Christmas. I remember the excitement of the flights and the holiday buzz. I remember none of us spoke English but my mom. I remember hiding from my American cousins. I remember my grandpa making a huge pile of snow for us to play in with his plow truck.

I remember that our family vacation, turned into a permanent move.

In 1984 the economy was terrible in Bolivia and it was suffering from hyper inflation (NYT Article) at a peak of 20,000 percent! The political scene was just as bad, and drug trade issues made travel difficult. Your money was worth less in the afternoon sometimes than it was in the morning. Yep it was bad and 1985 ended up even worse. My mom was pregnant, and my parents knew our lives would be better if we stayed in the USA.

I don't remember what they said to us. I remember that Miguel and I stayed behind and lived with my grandparents. I remember my parents leaving with my younger brother to sell all our belongings. I remember wishing I got to say bye to my family members. I remember missing my dog Tony.

I remember starting the first grade, and the only subject I understood was math.

I realized that it is now 30 years since my first American Christmas. My family sacrificed to be here, my dad went from a respected businessman to a paperboy and roofer. My mom went from being a former missionary and local teacher, to needing assistance from others.

My experience growing up has come full circle. I now work at a center like the one that helped my family in Saginaw. I am reminded daily of the importance of community support. I know that how we welcome people, and help those less fortunate says a lot about who we are.

So to answer the question from the La Casa program, more than anything at Christmas I am reminded what a beautiful gift opportunity is... and what a gift of opportunity that Christmas 1984 was for my family. Thank you mom and dad for making the hard decision to accept the gift. Love You.

Tomorrow I will celebrate my 30th American Christmas. Tomorrow my daughter Marisa will celebrate her first American Christmas. I also hope we have snow, and now I realized why it has always meant so much to me to see a white Christmas, a White Snowy American Christmas.

I hope I can gift my family and as much opportunity as my parents gave me.

Community Engagement

I have slacked on my blogging but lately I have been frustrated with the lack of community and civic engagement in my city. This week I got to work with the Group Violence Intervention program, one of the more challenging involvements I have had in the community reminded me that we need more people stepping up in South Bend and I wanted to write a little about it.

Right now so many national issues are swirling around and our local response has been a mixed bag. From police brutality, racism and privilege, immigration reform... and everyone loves a good Facebook fight about it. that won't change things.

Meanwhile local issues continue to go on mostly undiscussed by the general population. It has me thinking a lot about the issues we face, getting out good information, and more importantly engaging citizens in making our community better.

There are so many opportunities for people to get involved. Right now people are announcing their candidacy for our upcoming local elections. In a community that has historically been very divided, and leaders who chose to be divisive instead of seeking unity, I am surprised at the low number of people looking to fill many of these critical roles. Most importantly, I am disappointed in the qualifications and more importantly the political track record of most of those who are running.

Have we gotten to such a point in our local politics, that only people who like the drama and being divisive are willing to step into the arena? What have we as citizens done to encourage this behavior? Reading the sensationalized news, and joining in on political rants?

When I attend local meetings, you see it, lack of professionalism, no respect, and meetings that run worse than a Little Rascals meeting of the He-man Womens Haters Club. It is honestly a major disappointment.

So I am calling on local folks to step up. For my friends around the country, get involved in your local leadership scene, for my South Bend friends... lets do better. Our community is poised right now for great things, but like all things poised for greatness, it means we are teetering on complete failure.

So how can you get involved? Start saying yes when people ask for help, when you see an issue you care about starting asking others how you can help. We need all members of our community involved in some type of civic organization that is doing good in the neighborhoods. From Rotary to Kwianis, from Junior League to coaching a little league team. We all have an obligation to serve others, and it is easy, and more importantly... FUN to do.

I have been in South Bend now for nearly 7 years. I was asked to get involved in the South Bend Group Violence Intervention program as mentioned above. I could have said no, or that man I am too busy, or it doesn't fit into my work schedule, or I live in a safe neighborhood so I don't care about the violence in other parts of town... but I didn't and I stepped up. I have learned a lot from the process, about how felons are treated after jail, the challenges they face, the resources they do/don't have, and more importantly about how I can help.

The involvement is a couple hours of time, and offering myself as a resource.

What is an issue you care about? Helping low income people buy homes? Helping improve working conditions for low wage workers? Improving the maintenance of our streets? Making sure the city spends money appropriately? Supporting more small businesses?

Maybe start with what skills do you bring to the table? Maybe you work in training and development, or know about realestate? Maybe you are handy around the house and want to volunteer your skills?

There is a place, and more importantly a need, that each citizen can fill. Let's do better South Bend, let's work together to create solutions for our problems.

Hall of Fame Chavez

At Bill's with Greg

Tonight (11/18/2014) I have the honor, and pleasure of attending a special dinner here in South Bend. At the Century Center, in Downtown South Bend, a special man is getting inducted into the South Bend Hall of Fame. Mr. Gregorio Chavez, Jr., a tireless community supporter, proud Air Force Veteran, committed LULAC Member and a great mentor, is getting his day and some overdue recognition.

I wrote about Greg a little over a year ago when I had just accepted my position with La Casa (9-10-2013 "I Sat Between Two Giants"). He has continued to impress me with his dedication and hard work well into his 80s. I sneak over to Bill's Place to have breakfast with him every other week or so, its fun to have coffee and listen to all his stories. I enjoyed reading my old blog again and remember the import role, and foot steps that I follow in this community.

I will share my favorite story about his dedication and commitment:

In late September 2013 I had just started working full time and Greg came to La Casa to see me. He asked me who edged our lawn... I remembered seeing it that morning and it was a bit of a butcher job. I told him our maintenance guy and that we didn't have an edger so he used a weed whacker on it. He said he would get it fixed for me.

Well later that week, Greg shows up, with an extension cord and a trimmer, he plugs in, and goes outside and starts edging our lawn. Wait What? My first thought was to go outside and try to make him stop, but he wasn't having that...

So I went inside and the staff were all not sure what to do... I thought about liability, I mean I have an 80+ year old man outside edging my lawn. No one else would volunteer to try and make him stop after I tried... so we let him finish. Of course I snuck a picture of him out there to prove that yeah, he really did that. Like anyone would ever doubt his hardwork... and now I always make sure the grounds at La Casa look good... out of fear that if we don't, Greg will come back again and do it.

He has done so much for La Casa, for the Latino community, for Veterans, for anyone who needed help and I am glad he is being honored, and proud to have been invited to celebrate the evening. From donating copy paper, to taking students to the state house and raising money for scholarships and pushing to get Western Ave named Cesar Chavez Parkway. All the work of Mr. Chavez...

Congrats Greg, glad to have been able to walk along side you on immigration rallies, sit next to you in meetings with the mayor, and watch your selfless acts that have made this city a better place. Congrats, well deserved.

Halloween and Cop Cars

I posted about this already... but wanted to write a little more before I move onto my next topic. I wrote below about how the perceptions people grow up with of the police. I had an interesting opportunity to teach the lesson in a unique way, and have since engaged folks in some dialog around my point. So I thought I would share...

The weekend of Halloween I was working with an weekend immersion class from Saint Mary's College. The group of students would live in our neighborhood for the weekend, staying with families from La Casa de Amistad. It was designed for them to learn about immigration and the role of an urban parish in immigration.

Friday night was halloween, and the students volunteer at a local Catholic parish halloween event. They got to paint face, prepare food and hand out candy. At dinner afterwards as we reflected on the evening I asked them... did any of them see any little boys dressed as cops? Or firemen? Then asked, if any them maybe had little brothers who might of dressed up like that growing up... and of course they did.

Without me baiting the conversation much, one of the young women guessed it was because of the view the neighborhood kids would have of the police. Exactly, and we talked how that impacts how people react when they interact with the police, their feelings towards law enforce make a big difference in their willingness to call police when needed.

Later I presented this thought to a group of staff from the Notre Dame Center for Social Concerns. I don't have answers, or an idea on what to do with then information but I might of peeked from interest in research around the topic.

So tonight, when I saw one of Cruz's cop cars on the coffee table... got me thinking again and that I needed to write this down. Sometimes we don't think of the small subtle ways that inequality is created in this country. How maybe someone's immigration status might make them fear the police so much they won't call when they need them. Or how the high African American incarceration rates create a how class of people that fear the police.

Some food for thought on a Sunday night... and a question... what are you doing to help make things better?

Cruz Likes Cops

All the talk about Ferguson, and who did what, and who was wrong, and what should happen, and everyone writting in CAPS and posting propaganda has driven me nuts. I will be honest, regardless of who you are, I probably didn't read your stuff if came from anger. Everything has either been too extremely left, or too extremely right... its pretty much what is wrong with all political discourse lately. We argue extremes and then everyone walks away pissed with no solution.

So cops, gun control, race and profiling... yeah this one is a big can of worms. I have a lot of interesting intersecting experiences.

I grew in Saginaw, MI, still on the FBI top ten list of most dangerous US Cities. A highly segregated city, with a lot of racial tension. I get it.

I married into a family of police officers. My wife grew up the daughter of an officer, my brother in-law wears a badge daily trying to protect the streets where he lives. I understand the risk they are under daily and the choice they made to go into that line of work.

So what is my stance? Do I have a point to make? Interestingly something came up when D and I were talking about these issues and our son Cruz.

Cruz loves cop cars, he owns several, he plays with them. He points out cop cars excitedly on the street when we see one. When we hear sirens he runs to window to watch the car fly by on its way to fight crime.

It is little things like that which make all the difference in our society. My son is growing up with no fear, no negative perception... he is growing up with an admiration of police officers. He isn't taught to fear them, he is taught that they help.

So maybe during your arguments think about that... and reflect on how you were raised to view the police. In the hood you won't find many cop car toys, or boys like Cruz wearing a toy badge while they play. I also think between all the rants I have read, I have seen little ideas or ways to help... how are you helping?

Last night I attend a violence intervention program... I sat behind the chief of police and we worked to make our city safer. Sometimes I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but it is less scary than living in a world of fear.

Normalcy Isn't Enough

So on Friday there was breaking news in South Bend, all TV channels and shows here were interrupted... Fire at Jefferson Street Apartments again? Maybe a gas leak and there is danger in the area? Or heaven forbid a funnel cloud has been spotted and coming our way...

Luckily it was none of those dangerous things, it was just some Notre Dame Football players that got caught cheating in class again. Yes again. It took over all the local news, front page of the paper, top news report on every channel... They all went live to a press conference where obviously nothing was confirmed, nor denied, and of course the most important part of all news was that... football would still go on as scheduled. WHEW. That is breaking news.

Front page on Saturday, and of course front page on Sunday. The headline is what interested me more than anything...

"(Coach) Kelly Aims for Normalcy"

Normal for the ND Football lately has been drunk driving while home on break, cheating on tests, fighting cops in South Bend, sexual assault, staff member dying in dangerous practice conditions, fake girlfriends, and now cheating again. Last time a player cheated, he left school for two semesters, got readmitted and will be starting in a couple weeks. So why are you surprised more players are cheating? Clearly cheating on tests is a minor violation, and will be rewarded with a one year vacation, and a starting a position when they return. Sign me up for that, dream come true. I won't even go in on all the other violations and issues.

Return to normalcy is what we are targeting? I once bragged on a quote from Father Jenkins that says, "Never let them say we dreamed too small". As a lifelong GVSU (Go Lakers!) Fan, I expect more from you Coach Kelly, as a newer South Bend transplant I want to say that I expect more from you ND.

So how about we aim for better, how about we aim for what made Notre Dame great... How about we aim at being GREAT. On the field, and OFF the field.

Want to know why I am really mad? On Friday, a group of local students came together at La Casa de Amistad to count teddy bears. Bears that were raised to help care for the unaccompanied minors traveling dangerously to come to the USA for a chance at the American Dream. We got media there, actually we got a ton of media there... All the TV stations and our major newspaper.

What we didn't get was lots of air time... why? Because of some breaking news from ND. So Coach Kelly, you owe me what you gave at GVSU, nothing but the best and a true legacy, and you owe this important issue some airtime.

Pray for the Youth, More Importantly Pray for the Protesters

A lot has been going on... unless you live under a rock you are following the Political Tele Novela about the refuge issue at the American border involving young unaccompanied children coming to flee violence, drugs and hunger in their home countries.

Many people have posted hateful messages, in all directions you see them... hate towards President Obama for not doing enough. Hate towards the protesters who write hate-filled signs to tell the children they are not welcome. Hate towards liberals, hate towards conservatives, hate towards anyone who has a differing opinion.

These children, leave all they know, their family, friends and begin a mammoth journey sometimes completely alone. This week I was asked by a local reporter for local families that were impacted, or a story of one of these children here in our area... at first I thought we wouldn't have those stories here so far from the Mexican-American border... I unfortunately was wrong, and learned local impact of some of the stories.

I won't rehash the news, you can search for it yourself. I won't agree with those I disagree with, or give you my personal opinion on what is happening.

What I will do is ask for people to pray, of course for the children, however I have a unique request.

I am asking that you pray for the people, who have been lead so astray that they feel they hatred towards these small innocent children. They need the prayers more than anyone, they are probably hurting inside in ways we don't understand. Their outward hate towards others to me means they have something going on in their life which has cause them to hate.

As usual, MLK said it best:

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, 
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. 
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar, 
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. 
Through violence you may murder the hater, 
but you do not murder hate. 
In fact, violence merely increases hate. 
So it goes. 
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, 
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. 
Darkness cannot drive out darkness: 
only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."


~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

So please take some time, and say a prayer for those men and women who hurt so bad, that they feel compelled to try and hurt a child. They need our help, and our prayers. God Bless.

So You Made It Huh?

The last few weeks I have been watching lots of my friends and fraternity Brothers posting on Facebook about how well life is going now... fancy business trips, new BMWs, ordering room service, concierge hook ups, valeting the whip...

I am proud of what people are accomplishing, but I want to know how wisely are you spending your money?

I get it, I was in the same spot... I was raised in a poor midwestern town, I am an immigrant, I didn't go to a fancy private high school, I didn't go to a private college... I grew up in Saginaw, MI. It is still on the FBI top ten list of dangerous places to live. It was number five in 2012! (Top Ten List)

I get it, I made bad decision when I had access to money for the first time. I used a FASFA check to buy rims once, maxed out credit cards buying crap I can't remember, and my first real paycheck I went and got a new(er) car... I worked in higher ed so luckily I never had much expendable income. I know it's nice when you get to buy dinner, or go out and TREAT YOSELF.

I get it, it feels nice to go out in your fancy car, order a ridiculously expensive steak, then avoid being seen taking a photo of it (cause you want people to think thats you daily) but post it on instagram anyways.

I get it, well I used to, but I no longer get it... we weren't raised to be like that, and we didn't work hard to come out from where we came to not give back. I don't mean do some annual community service project, or give $20 bucks to St. Jude at Christmas Time. I mean for you to make better decisions about how you spend your money, and invest it back into our neighborhoods.

I get it, you work hard, you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Remember though, others are struggling like you did right now. I bet you had a great family role model, an Abuelita that kicked your butt, a teacher that steered you the right way, a community leader who selflessly went without to help you. We sometimes like to say we made it on our own, but we didn't... sometimes seen or unseen, we had community angels who saw to it that we made it.

I get it, you are young and not sure what you can do... contact your local United Way, they will know the different centers and places you can go. They will match you to a Latino community center like mine, or a women's shelter, or something aligned with a purpose that matters to you.

I get it, you can't save the world, but you can make a difference to one kid. Maybe a kid that reminds you a little of yourself, and in 20 years he will be ballin' like you, and hopefully he, also, gives back. Each one of us have the power to teach others the right way. We are either part of the problem, or we are part of the solution. Like I tell students when I travel and the speak; the world will either be better cause you were here, or worse... your actions each day determine your legacy.

I get it, you are busy... so am I. I am lucky my day job is working in the neighborhood at La Casa (www.lacasadeamistad.org) so I get to help daily. I love bringing people to our local Latino places to eat, meet my children at the center and get people talking about making our community better. I don't need a pat on the back, I just need you to also find the time, we need you.

I get it, you don't have enough money to build a new community center. However, each time don't eat out it means you can donate $10-20, and driving your old car one more year means you save a couple thousand bucks... find ways to give back.

I get it, you can't quit your job and work at the local community center. Well give a few hours a week of your time, you will be surprised how personally rewarding it will be, and hey... working at a community center puts you in contact with lots of people in the community, it could even help your career...

So lets all Get It, and lets all Get In and start helping our community. We must remember where we came from, how we made it out, and why we must help others make it as well.

Anita Was Here

Final Recital

On Friday event was the final dance recital for the Anita DeCourval School of Dance in Bad Axe, MI. It has been a hard year for the DeCourval family, within months Anita lost her mother, and her husband. Anita had been teaching dance in Bad Axe sine 1987, she taught over 800 students in those years and touched all of their lives in some capacity. 

Anita always ended the recital with her solo dance, and this year as her last she danced to the Beyonce song "I Was Here". Not sure there was a dry in the room.

"I was here,
I Lived, I Loved,
I was here,"

Between Anita and Dave they left their mark on this community. Dave kept people safe, and brought soccer to the school well before anyone else was playing it in the midwest. When he passed you could see all the ways he impacted the community.

"I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget"

Anita brought love of the arts, dance and performance. The words from her students, her alums and the mothers was heart warming. Anita made her mark, by doing what she loved and teaching others to love and appreciate it, and by pushing others to be their best.

"I want to say I lived each day, until I died
And know that I meant something in, somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see"

Cruz clapping for Grannie

I have been blessed to have an amazing family, and to come into another amazing family. There are so many opportunities in life to make a difference, and most people choose to be normal, to fly under the radar, to not take risks... and decide not to leave their mark.

Never thought I would find a leadership motivation lesson in Beyonce lyrics, I guess its just one more thing impressive about Anita, and about the beauty of dance.

"I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here"

Mundial Con Abuelito

Tomorrow starts the World Cup (Mundial for us Latinos) and I will probably watch the opening game in Bad Axe, MI. I will spend some time trying to get Cruz excited, and undoubtably will give up before kick off as I really want to see the game.

Not sure why, but the Mundial always tends to be an emotional time. I was reflecting this morning and got a little misty eyed. As I have written before, I don't always feel that "Latino" (Previous Blog: My Latino Introduction). One thing I was always into, futbol, or as I was taught to call it here in the States, Soccer.

Outside the Silverdome. Abuelito in the middle. 

It was my one Bolivian thing, my one real Latino thing I kept. I played soccer, and I enjoyed it, and I loved to watch it. In 1994 the USA hosted, it was a great time for so many reasons. It finally made soccer cool in the USA (well cooler at least). It was the first time in about 50 years that Bolivia qualified, and man we had a good team! It was the first time my Abuelitos came to the USA, and we got to go to a game (Brazil vs Sweden in the Silverdome).

We didn't get to watch in person, but we watched the games live, at our house. Bolivia vs Germany was the opening game of La Copa Mundial. I actually think it might be the reason why my family finally got cable at the house... (the 1990 World Cup I taped all the games at my Uncles house who had cable and we watched the games later).

I don't remember who sat where, but I like to remember that I sat with my pops, my abuelito, my family and we cheered for Bolivia. They played in the opening game, at Soldier Field (we couldn't afford tickets) against the defending champs. This team, from our poor little country, walked out onto the pitch and made us all proud to be Bolivian. That was my country on TV, we waived flags in our house we cheered that scrappy team to a 0-0 tie at the half. We had a shot! Then a in a bad turn of luck, and what could have been offsides, Germany got an easy goal. So it was 1-0, we put in our ace, the jack of all trades, El Diablo... Marco Etcheverry. He was our hope, he was a top world player, well known for his antics but well known for his dead-on touch.

However, after barely being put in, in the "Kick Seen Round the World" he was tackled (a little dirty) but he got up and kicked (and maybe spit on) the German player. Red card! He was ejected; for that game, and the following game, and Bolivia had to play a man short.

Once again our scrappy team made us proud... they played a man down, but they played heart up, and they held the game to a 1-0 loss. Not bad, could of been better, and I still haven't forgiven El Diablo... he went on to set records in the MLS with Bolivian Teammate Jaime Moreno and I cheered for DC United all those years as our "Bolivian MLS Team". Back to World Cup...

Good game recap video: YouTube

The announcer is a little patronizing to Bolivia... which was the case leading up to the game. The Bolivians earned a good rep for their scrappy play and tenacity to hold Germany, while a man down, to a 1-0 loss. Bolivia would be eliminated in the first round, and Etcheverry made a formal apology to the country.

 I remember the game, and Abuelitos dissent to the lack of an Offside call (mostly because of the FIFA rule change) and then of course to the ejection of Diablo. I am sure he yelled things like"Pucha!", "Que Macana!", "Eso!", "No Pues!" and later how much we all yelled GOOOOL when Bolivia scored a few days later against Spain.

 I remember when we went to the live game, with flags that said, "Brazil, Bolivia Esta Contigo!" We wore our Bolivia shirts and cheered for Brazil. We got to see some great players live, we got to cheer with Abuelito... our Bolivian Family, at a futbol game. Miguel, my brother reminded me how surprised he was that Abuelita went to the game... it was her first soccer game, that wasn't something women did, but its something my Abuelita got to do.

 From the Panini World Cup Sticker books, to the ungodly amount of flags, schedules, cheering and crying that happens during the World Cup... I am glad it is back...

 Well the 2014 Copa Mundial won't be the same... Cruz isn't into the game, yet. I hope that someday I get to sit next to him cheering for Bolivia in the Mundial, next to his Abuelito, and we will protest calls, yell GOL and be proud of being Bolivian.

Judging Privilege, Dickies and Neck Ties

I started a blog in response to the posts a couple of weeks ago about White Privilege. So this is a tad long, but basically two blogs in one.

Couple weeks ago a guy was named the poster child for white privilege (White, Male, Goes to Princeton) and he wrote about how he gets judged for having privilege. He wrote a fairly well written piece about his Jewish family fleeing the Nazis and all the hardships his life had in it.

So then the internet blew up... did he have privilege? Didn't he? How come? Why not? How dare a Princeton student claim they don't have privilege!

The comments, as most internet conversations tend to go... where a hot mess of one-sided I know better than you yelling matches and sometimes they even put the caps lock key down. Okay okay, you must obviously be right.

Originally I wanted to write about how colleges really suck at talking about this, and actually make things worse... so here is that part, and then an additional part from my experience recently about being judged...

Here is how most schools do Diversity/Inclusion/Privilege Training:

Some Hall Director (RHD) goes to a conference and sat through a 45 minute workshop (that started 10 minutes late, and ended 10 minutes early) on Privilege that was presented by a first year master's student at your local regional state college... based on that intense training, they went back, and did an hour long workshop (googled to find additional content) for their Resident Assistants (half of which attended) and then it was mandated that all RAs do a program on White Privilege (mind you the original program was about Privilege, not "White" Privilege).

Then everyone gets surprised that the program doesn't go well, which means they assume the students are racists, not that the program was poorly presented. Then guess what, many people that went to the program actually probably became a little racist because they were insulted over race. Ah...

So my first point is...

College's need to actually start educating people about these types of things in the proper way... and by proper I mean create curriculum, bringing in real speakers (no offense to my RHD friends), focus on changing campus culture and do this very important topic correctly. I mean, if you actually care about it. We spend time and money making our campuses more green, increasing campus wellness... but how much did your school spend on diversity education?

Now my second point is...

If you aren't an expert, and studied privilege or truly understand it, stop trying to teach other people about privilege. I get asked a lot to do workshops or discussions on privilege. I turn that down each time, I am not qualified to do that, and its a shame that anyone with some type of disadvantaged past believes they can do workshops/speeches on the topic. Stop it, you can't. You are making it worse.

You know what I can talk about? My background, who I am, where I came from... I like to debunk myths and yeah some of those things are part of discussions on privilege. I however am not well versed in the ins and out and able to do a workshop on it.

My next point is...

We all have a struggle. Everyone struggles in this world to find their place, everyone has people who struggle more, and everyone has people who struggle less. Everyone should be able to find people where their struggles are supported and we help each other advance. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world, and we create lines and boxes and levels and categories to do nothing but help us continue to struggle over our struggles. Yeah I said that, I'm not going to edit it later.

Transition to secondish blog:

Last week I had an interesting experience that made me wrap this up... I worked on refinishing the floors at La Casa de Amistad. So for several days, I wore jeans, my Dickies, a ball cap, and for the fun of it I didn't shave. Well I realized something... I wasn't treated the same out running errands. I wasn't greeted as promptly or politely at places, and striking up conversations with people took more work (I talk to everyone everywhere I go). Maybe I was less out going in that outfit? Or maybe I didn't make people as comfortable as I do when dressed up...

So I asked Heather to snap a pic of me the one day when I came home, in my shirt with paint on it, my Dickies jacket and hoodie, my Datsun hat... Then I shaved, and threw on a nice work outfit and took another photo. Why is the guy in a tie so much more likable? I mean the head tilt is even the same...

My final point is...

How about we all stop judging? You judged that white Princeton kid for saying his family struggled and he wasn't privileged because of his Jewish family history. Then everyone started judging each other and everyone threw their privilege on the table and starting a measuring contest. Guess what, not having privilege, or perceiving yourself as less, doesn't give you a right to judge those who you perceive as having it. It works both ways people.

In response to the Princeton guy... or others with privilege who don't want to be judged for having it... my thought is this, how are you helping, others like your unprivileged grandfather realize their American dream? I better see you at the table for Immigration Reform, I hope to see you volunteering at a place that assists immigrants in realizing their American Dream...

I think conversations about privilege and race should be targeted at how we can judge less, and help more; regardless of color, country or choice of god.