IN LOVE, AT LOVE

It's been a weird year for love. All the media around marriage equality, hate crimes, terrorism, and everything else evil in the world we don't get to read much about love in the world. The Beatles said it best, all we need is love.

Luckily I can say that its not something lacking at home. Maybe more people need to talk about it, and I should probably talk about it more often. Today was prompted by an anniversary, so maybe later I need to remember to write more about it for no reason at all.

I am spending today on the road. Daddy Daughter Roadtrip with Novali and I know Heather understands, cause she loves me. Before we left, I made sure we had things ready for her to be at home with the Tazmania Cruz on her own, cause I LOVE her. Laundry, dishes, lawn, swept the floor, and of course left her some flowers.

I wanted to write something really philosophical, or maybe all sentimental and make people cry about LOVE and our marriage. However, we aren't what people would call the traditional American Love Story that someone would write a bool about. We met nearly ten years ago in college, for some reason she was attracted to a guy that went bowling for bar stools at BFE on his 25th Birthday. She was interested in a guy who made his school and daughter a priority above all else. LOVE isn't about being the center of attention, its about being a part of something that means more to you than attention.

Five years ago we made the decision to get married and buy a house. Whoa... new town, new jobs, and the whole house hunting thing. Talk about stress on a relationship, it wasn't long walks on the beach and waking up to the sunrise everyday. It was LOVE though, we took on challenges, learned new things together and started a home here in South Bend, together.

Being married has also been a challenge, but one that with LOVE we tackle together. Maybe the problem with marriage these days if people think it is supposed to be an idealized version from a made for TV Movie. It's not, its nights when I am out of town and Heather has to be a single mom for a few nights. Its nights when I sleep in another bed cause a man name Cruz is in my bed all sideways. It's days when we don't have enough money to do the things we want to do for ourselves, cause we are busy doing something for someone else that we LOVE.

Maybe part of the problem with the world, and with the word LOVE lately is that people have forgotten what it means? I looked up the definition, yeah cheesy. Much of the definition centered around the words desire and affection, marriage and of course required familiar ties. That's not LOVE, thats either lust or where you were born. LOVE is a feeling, it is created and nurtured. Here is the only one that I think related to marriage:

"unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another"

Look up unselfish, look up benevolent, and concern... all great words. And then interestingly, an unrelated one, and last of the definitions, something people might not consider tied to the feeling of love is: 

"a score of zero (as in tennis)"

So maybe LOVE is just that... Being unselfish, and keeping the score zero.  Could it be that easy? I have always said that sometimes the most simple answers are staring you right in the face. So happy anniversary. 

IN LOVE, AT LOVE.