How's Summer Going?

How is my summer? Well the past couple of weeks was filled with family and I owe everyone a big album of photos. 

Couple weeks ago had a trip to Phoenix... it was for a retreat for the Notre Dame Federal Credit Union Board of Directors and I figured since my kids have cousins there... we make it a family trip. Despite it hitting 119 for several days in a row, we survived. The kids had not been to Phoenix since well before the pandemic so we were due for a trip, their cousins are 9, 11, and 13... so the blend with Mari (9) and Cruz (12) is just a perfect play group. So Heather also came on the trip so the kids could enjoy a fun trip while I worked. Living so far apart from family is hard, and so it was nice the cousins got to spend a week together.

A special part of that trip was staying at the Arizona Biltmore... a historic resort that is a Waldorf Astoria property which means... fancy. If you know Mari, you know she likes luxury and fancy things, so despite the fact that the sun was trying to kill us on a daily basis, she was in heaven. The kids swam at their cousins pool, and we hosted them all at the resort one day to enjoy the slides, pool, etc. Thank you Matt and Cristy for hosting us and for rides to and from the airport. Big thanks to NDFCU for the great retreat site, I love serving on that board and supporting the positive work they do in the communities we serve. It was a great way to recharge! 

Our return home landed us some airport delays so we got back to South Bend late... to start our next big family visit. Andres was in town (lives on the Isle of Mann) and he brought with him Javier, my nephew who lives in Mississippi, who was in Chicago while Andres was there working, so they came over together. Since he was visiting, my sister Raquel also came to visit and brought her daughter Ayanna and her partner Kory. Also Novalí was able to come down... so we had a very FULL House here for the weekend! 

We lined up fun stuff, an outing to the South Bend Cubs, I took them all to an autocross at the Tire Rack test tracak (need to upload some videos), quick Studebaker National Museum stop and of course no visitors come to South Bend without a stop to the South Bend Brew Werks. Cruz had a football event and Andres and Javi stopped to watch a little before a quick trip for pictures at Notre Dame. 

Whew... that was a whirlwind few days... but wait, there is more! 

A few days later, I took Cruz and Mari to Florida to visit my parents! We flew from Grand Rapids, which was cheaper, but also a good excuse to get to see Novalí again. We got lunch with her on Friday before we flew out, and dinner with her on Tuesday when we got back. 

In keeping with summer vacation theme... it was mega hot and this time we added in FL muggy to the mix. Regardless though it was a great time with my parents. It has become a little tradition now that I take the kids to FL just before they go back to school. This year Novalí couldn't join us as she is going with them to Ireland and the Isle of Mann at the end of the month and can't get more time off. (So excited for their trip!). 

We enjoyed time in the pool, playing tennis, fishing, table tennis, shooting pool and Cruz even hit the links a little with my dad... we played outside when we could, and when it was too hot, or rainy, we busted out the classic Wii or the kids played chess with grandpa or puzzles and baking with grandma. 

Dropping a bunch of pictures on Facebook and Instagram, so check me out there for more views from our trips... now it is time to grind out back to school! Wish us luck over here... 4th and 7th grades starting soon! 

Scared Shiftless

September 2020, at Gingerman Raceway, my fastest lap, going into turn 11... crash! 

It sounds more dramatic than it was... luckily I ran into a sand trap, and it was just a few hundred dollars worth of body damage and a broken window. (Blog about that day)

What has been dramatic since, is my change in driving. I have been back to that track a handful of times... and I haven't pushed that corner the same since. I know how to attack it, I know the line, I know how fast I can go, I know when to brake, when to shift, when to get back on the gas... but I just can't. 

I got scared, my brakes locked up, I didn't know what was next...

I got scared, I lost control and forgot my training and lessons. 

I got scared, and forget the track safety features and those around to protect me. 

I got scared, when the car came to the stop the first thing I looked for was my fire extinguisher. 

I got scared, and since then racing has been less fast, and less fun. 

I started to reflect on this lately, and how it impacted my driving and racing, but how similar mistakes and fear have driven (or better off distracted me) me off my goals. Not just work goals, but also in my family and personal life. When I attack that corner now, I brake too soon and shift too late, afraid of what might happen. Each time driving away... glad I stayed on track, but bummed it was so slow. I even wore my "Go Fast, Don't Die" shirt last time... didn't help. 

The other day I was speaking at a panel and someone asked ways I gauge businesses owners I work with and how I think about who will be successful. I mentioned that I look for a balance of fear and confidence. I want someone who respects the work, knows it will be hard, but knows they are ready to roll up their sleeves to get it done. Too much confidence, means they will make critical mistakes, not ask for help, get frustrated and maybe walk away. Too much fear and they will shoot themselves short, second guess everything, take too long, and most likely not accomplish their goal and walk away. 

Since that conversation I have thought about all the things that scare me about things that can go wrong... at work, at home, with my kids, in my hobbies, etc. 

I think most people would assume I am super confident all the time... and that is probably part of the vibe I give off, but fear has always been there, but I know I can't let it run my life. Fear of what might go wrong, versus the dream of what is possible. I am scared all the time, and usually my confidence makes up for the fear... but not lately. 

How do I get the mojo back? Maybe part of that is just acknowledging how I feel and why? Maybe part is just needing another shot and saying, next time it's on. 

The 2023 Track Night schedule just came out... I put the Gingerman dates on my calendar. This year I am coming for corner 11... with fear, but with enough confidence to know that I can do it. I can be scared, but I can't let it prevent me from doing what I should be doing... Going Fast, Braking Hard, Shifting, Going Fast(er).