Trust the Process

Trust the process... often used in leadership development programs, or when you think about growth or capacity building, and lately I have been thinking about it related to politics.

A few weeks ago a local leader and colleague wrote an article about community engagement. Sharing the difference between Builders and Wreckers, and that lately lots of anger and frustration at public meetings had changed the decorum of many public boards. The article sparked a little controversy, on why maybe some people are made out as wreckers, and that it comes from years of frustration. Read article HERE. 

It all got me thinking about the process... and the public's ability to "Trust the Process" when we have realized that many of our processes are broken. Interestingly, Jeff's article above came out the first week of February, as the current administration (federally and at our state-level) really started going off the rails of traditional decision making and as our local school board started some extremely non-traditional decision processes. 

Right now we are not only seeing leadership by popularity, but we are seeing it by any means necessary as well, a brutal combo. 

Right now we are seeing a lot of, "This is what I was elected to", and then non-transparently doing a lot of things that don't really feel related to what they were elected to do. 

Trusting the process is easy, when structures you understand and checks and balances exist. Trust is easy when the people in charge want to help, but maybe just disagree on how. 

Trust is not easy when leadership only appears to care. To me the fake appearance of care is actually worse... as trust is impossible when you don't believe the person across from you cares about you or your future, but only about theirs. 

I mulled about what to write, drafted this, and like many blogs lately... let it sit in my que of unfinished drafts. Then, interestingly the other day cleaning out some storage space with Mari, she found a book a poems, from my fraternity Brother Tim Hall called... Trust the Process. I opened it up and thumbed through a few passages. In our fraternity we talk a lot about trust, leadership, and I create many of my views and ways I train on leadership to lessons and experiences during my time as an undergraduate and alumnus of Sigma Lambda Beta. 

Something from the book: 

"When the day looks impossible the couch feels comfortable
and sun rays splashing from the bay windows look uneventful.
and sun rays splashing from the bay windows look uneventful.
Trust the process.

When a conversation with your partner seems daunting
and your feelings eat away at your tongues ability to produce words.
Trust the process.

When depression is the dust that refuses to be swept from the floor
and all you want is freedom from having to clean up the destructive thoughts that fall.
Trust the process.

When song doesn’t sound as beautiful
and melody no longer scales your arms with goosebumps.
Trust the process.

When fear resembles the worn notebook in your book bag 
the rarely opened Evernote app on your phone
or the twice folded post-it notes dusting your desk that stare / and stare
and hover / and wait / and tire / and toggle and are misplaced
then are found and still not used.
Trust the process."

~ Tim Hall

That poem book spoke to me. Lots of small short things, some deep things, and this flowed through lots of different things I have been feeling lately. Gracias Tim. 

I think we all have to remember, to get trust, we give trust, to create change we have to be willing to change, to move forward we must be willing to leave things behind. It is easy to expect others to do what you think should happen, it is harder to do it, to be an example, to be flexible when we ask for it, to genuinely show care to those who don't show it to you.... to stand up for a fight you know you'll lose...its hard, but maybe that is part of the process as well. 

Since it is Easter season do I have the teachings and experience of Christ, the passion, and how that connects to trust the process maybe? Religion and how it has been distorted is on my mind a lot. So this blog doesn't have a purpose, except I need to blog more, share more, and trust the process. 

Scared Shiftless

September 2020, at Gingerman Raceway, my fastest lap, going into turn 11... crash! 

It sounds more dramatic than it was... luckily I ran into a sand trap, and it was just a few hundred dollars worth of body damage and a broken window. (Blog about that day)

What has been dramatic since, is my change in driving. I have been back to that track a handful of times... and I haven't pushed that corner the same since. I know how to attack it, I know the line, I know how fast I can go, I know when to brake, when to shift, when to get back on the gas... but I just can't. 

I got scared, my brakes locked up, I didn't know what was next...

I got scared, I lost control and forgot my training and lessons. 

I got scared, and forget the track safety features and those around to protect me. 

I got scared, when the car came to the stop the first thing I looked for was my fire extinguisher. 

I got scared, and since then racing has been less fast, and less fun. 

I started to reflect on this lately, and how it impacted my driving and racing, but how similar mistakes and fear have driven (or better off distracted me) me off my goals. Not just work goals, but also in my family and personal life. When I attack that corner now, I brake too soon and shift too late, afraid of what might happen. Each time driving away... glad I stayed on track, but bummed it was so slow. I even wore my "Go Fast, Don't Die" shirt last time... didn't help. 

The other day I was speaking at a panel and someone asked ways I gauge businesses owners I work with and how I think about who will be successful. I mentioned that I look for a balance of fear and confidence. I want someone who respects the work, knows it will be hard, but knows they are ready to roll up their sleeves to get it done. Too much confidence, means they will make critical mistakes, not ask for help, get frustrated and maybe walk away. Too much fear and they will shoot themselves short, second guess everything, take too long, and most likely not accomplish their goal and walk away. 

Since that conversation I have thought about all the things that scare me about things that can go wrong... at work, at home, with my kids, in my hobbies, etc. 

I think most people would assume I am super confident all the time... and that is probably part of the vibe I give off, but fear has always been there, but I know I can't let it run my life. Fear of what might go wrong, versus the dream of what is possible. I am scared all the time, and usually my confidence makes up for the fear... but not lately. 

How do I get the mojo back? Maybe part of that is just acknowledging how I feel and why? Maybe part is just needing another shot and saying, next time it's on. 

The 2023 Track Night schedule just came out... I put the Gingerman dates on my calendar. This year I am coming for corner 11... with fear, but with enough confidence to know that I can do it. I can be scared, but I can't let it prevent me from doing what I should be doing... Going Fast, Braking Hard, Shifting, Going Fast(er).