Why, Why Not? Because.

Explaining things to a three year old can be hard... why we have to brush our teeth at night, why you can't have ice cream instead of dinner, why you can't stand on the seat of your bike while riding it, why you can't write on the wall with marker, why, why not, why?

Some of the things we teach our children are planned lessons. We practice colors and shapes, and point out letters like "C" for Cruz when we see them. We remind him to say please and thank you, and that you aren't supposed to push people. We laugh when he says something is "Mines" or the if he just did something he says, "Yeah I'm Is".

Well there are lessons in life we don't plan, and some we hope we never have to teach. However there are things in life that we can't predict, and more importantly ones we can't prevent.

Candle for Dave at ND

On Thursday we arrived in Bad Axe, MI and Heather went inside ahead of us. We discussed what to tell Cruz, and agreed we didn't know what to say. Cruz got excited when we arrived, he loves visiting. So I sat with him in the back seat for a minute and got him to focus. He always impresses me that when I need his attention he calms and responds. I told him, Your Mama is sad, and we need to be very quiet when we enter the house. He replied, "Yeah Mama is sad"... he knew, he felt it already even though she was hiding it. I said yes, and that is why we have to be very quiet when we go into the house. He said okay, and I told him that Papa won't be here, and for him not to ask. He said okay, and said "I be quiet for Mama". I told him not to ask Mama where Papa is, and he said "Okay".

We went in, and Cruz didn't make a peep. He smiled, waved at his Grammie and Greggy, didn't say a thing about all the cops and sat quietly. Before we left he asked about Hip Hop Santa, a toy him and Dave loved. We sat on the couch for a minute, and then we left to meet some family members. He didn't fuss or ask for his mama. I was impressed, especially cause he normally can't go 2 seconds without asking for her. He was paying his respect, in his way.

Throughout the events and hosting visitors at the house Cruz was well behaved, played when he could, stayed calm when needed and asked me a lot why his mama was sad. I would tell him because Papa Dave isn't here, and he would respond with "Oh"... luckily not asking me where he was, because I didn't have a good answer for a three year old.

Tubing

When Novali's great grandmother passed I told her to right away to remember her last memory with her Abuelita. For Cruz I thought of the same thing, and last thing I remember him doing with Dave was when he refused to go down the tubing hill. Dave just grabbed him, and put him on Novali's lap and despite his protests pushed him down the hill. Cruz promptly on his return said, "That was fun! Lets go again." He isn't scared, and instead loves tubing cause of Papa Dave.

Interestingly, if there was anyone in this family in the future to remind us of Dave it is Cruz. He can't sit still, a tad bossy, likes to be active all the time, pops his opinion quickly, likes power tools and has that perfect ginger hairdo; high and tight, high and tight.

So why do things like this happen? Why can't we prevent these types of things? Why are some questions impossible to answer? I don't know, I just know that being here, celebrating the life of Dave is truly moving. The community support, everyone stopping by, I mean they closed the public schools on Monday... and even Cruz, the untamable toddler, can be calmed in respect to a great father, coach, civil servant, father-in-law and great Papa.

So on Monday during the service, I am sure Cruz will ask a Why question that we wish we didn't have to answer... I think Cruz will ask why so many people are there... and I will be able to tell him is, because Papa isn't.